Options The Dusty Show with Clay Pigeon: Playlist from May 29, 2014 Options

Street interviews, vinyl exhumations, improv monologues, live listener call-ins, mini-musicals, original fiction, hyper-editing, sometimes filmed, analog-based micro-cassette ambiance, slightly digital. Join the Pigeonnaires. Act now!

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Options May 29, 2014: I Go AWOL ... Stuck In An Elevator - That Dirty Clown - More - Brian Turner Subs!

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Artist Track Album Label Year Format Comments
  This is the episode where I couldn't make it to the studio because I was actually TRAPPED in an elevator in Manhattan! I always leave for WFMU from my place at around 5pm and take the PATH train to Jersey City. As usual, I left our place at 5pm, but when I took the elevator to the ground floor it opened in the basement instead. This was very unusual as the elevator won't normally go to the basement unless the Superintendant uses his key. It was creepy down there, too, kind of Freddy Krueger-like with cobwebs and pipes and old cardboard boxes and shadows and unexplained skitterings in the corners. I quickly tried to take the elevator back up to the ground floor. This time, the elevator stopped between floors and the door started to open, but then stopped and after that it refused to budge. I tried to pry it open with my bare hands to no avail. I tried pressing all the buttons I could press but nothing would happen.

Recenty, an emergency button was installed in the elevator for just such a circumstance. Our building elevator is very old. 50+ years the repairman said, and in need of replacing. I pressed the emergency button and a woman answered on the other end. She asked me where I was located and told me that help would arrive "within the hour." It was 5:05pm and I was due on-the-air at 6pm.

At this point I took out my cell phone and I was able to call my wife in the building and tell her I was stuck, I asked her to phone Fabio at FMU to tell him of my situation. She reported back that she had contacted Fab and that Station Manager Ken was now also aware that I was stuck. A thought occurred to me that perhaps Station Manager Ken was thinking this was the craziest excuse for not showing up that he had ever heard.

I decided to try and phone Fabio and try and see if I could do the show live from the elevator if possible, but he wasn't able to hear me. I could hear him, but he couldn't hear me. He kept saying, "Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? I can't hear you!" And of course I was saying "Fab! Fab, it's me! It's me!" but he couldn't hear me. Sadly, I hung up and began to appraise my situation.

A couple of neighbors happened by. I could hear them. barely, through the thick elevator door. They stayed for a little while to keep me company, but in time I could tell they were getting restless, so I told them I'd be fine that they could go. Help was on the way. My wife also came and talked to me for a while. It was an odd feeling, like prison I suppose. Being close to someone, but being unable to touch them or, in my case, even to see them.

I suppose it was maybe twenty-minutes later that the first twinge of anxiety came into my mind. I told myself it would be all right and that there was no need to freak out, but in my isolation, I did briefly imagine things like "Is there enough air in here? What if this thing falls! What if the wires catch on fire and I burn alive in here." I didn't get too carried away with such thoughts, but I entertained them ever so slightly. I was also trapped with a large black plastic bag full of trash which I had brought with me to place on the curb. I imagined how, if I fell, I would use the bag at the last second to break my fall and soften my impact. I even thought about using it as a makeshift beanbag chair as I had nowhere to sit in the small 3' x 4' space. At some point a admitted to myself that there would be no Dusty Show. That made me sad because I enjoy it so and often put a lot of work into preparation.

It was 75-minutes before the repairman arrived. I was relieved to hear him outside the elevator door. He made quick work of getting me free and in a moment I was hugging my wife and shaking the repairman's hand. My ordeal was over. I still haven't ridden the elevator even though they tell me it's fixed. At any rate, I'm sorry I missed the show and I thank Kirsten, Station Manager Ken, and Fabio for their assistance and I thank Brian Turner for filling in for me. From what I understand, he played That Dirty Clown.

K. Ross  Entire CD   Options That Dirty Clown  Grim Retailers  2006?  CD  Brian elected to play That Dirty Clown, a popera that I composed, performed, and voiced back in 1992 when I lived in Florida. It was originally released in an edition of 200 cassettes. In the mid-oughts, a company called Grim Retailers re-released it. Since, it has settled back into near-obscurity. It has been aired a few times before on FMU. I hope you enjoy it. 
 
After That Dirty Clown, Brian played some records, but I don't know what they were. I'm sure they were great. Thanks again, Brian. And thanks to you for listening. I hope you keep tuning in to The Dusty Show. I do appreciate it. Drop me a line if you're so inclined. dusty@wfmu.org ---- Yopu may also join Pigeonnaires on Facebook for more Dusty-oriented fun. Always remember. CP

Listener comments!

  Thu. 5/29/14 6:26pm P-90:

FREE CLAY PIGEON!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:27pm fleep:

Sure, I'll take a free clay pigeon. Do I need a coupon?
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:28pm Matt from Springfield:

I hope Clay's singing "STUCK In An Elevator" to the tune of Aerosmith...

Hi Pigeonnaires and Dirty Clown fans!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:28pm dale:

when is it the dirty clown jr. special?
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:28pm Gee Lampa:

Clay..... This is distressing!!! I predict nightmares this evening.

It brings Legendary Pink Dots to mind.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:28pm Matt from Springfield:

We've just GOTTA make this into a live stage musical someday! :D
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:29pm Matt from Springfield:

@Gee Lampa: If you've never heard this classic before, brace yourself and listen! :)
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:29pm dale:

huzzah! noW!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:29pm P-90:

Did Fabio call for the Jaws of Life yet?
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:30pm steve:

Dirty Clown is a goddam masterpiece. glad i got home in time. i hope Clay is ok!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:30pm dale:

huzzah! noW!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:30pm marmalade kitty:

clay..?
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:30pm Mike East:

I think it would do well as a filmed production. Itd be better than Tommy, anyway.
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:31pm iris:

Clay! Love your Dirty Clown Rock Opera!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:31pm dale:

my wife bought a few cd copies as gifts. i'm sure people think we're nuts.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:31pm Matt from Springfield:

I believe Fab said it was an "elevator in New York", so doesn't seem to be the station's Elevator Death Trap/Gateway to Hell.

@Mike: YES! Better than Tommy! :)
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:31pm Gee Lampa:

@Mike East

Bite your tongue.
Avatar Thu. 5/29/14 6:33pm Cory:

www.deletetheweb.com...
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:33pm Mike East:

sorry, I prefer quadrophenia.
Avatar Thu. 5/29/14 6:33pm Cory:

www.deletetheweb.com...
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:33pm iris:

I'm imagining something in the style of Phantom of the Paradise!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:35pm Matt from Springfield:

@iris: Ha ha, this IS like a half-remembered nightmare of someone who watched "Phantom of the Paradise" years before! ;)
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:35pm Gee Lampa:

It's like a syphilitic cabaret.
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:36pm Bonzo the clown:

Hello! :)
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:37pm Matt from Springfield:

Ooooh, his commercial! :D
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:37pm P-90:

It's like Sondheim doing a Kurt Weil-meets-Zappa thing
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:37pm cosmic matrix:

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING GOOD
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:38pm P-90:

The commercial is VERY Firesign
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:38pm Gee Lampa:

Some messed up Ibsen musical adaptation, wherein the lead actor dies of syphilis, on stage, during the final scene.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:38pm Matt from Springfield:

Hey Bonzo!
Good descrips, P-90 and G.L.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:39pm dale:

i think first time i heard clay he played this on a thanksgiving evening his first year on air.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:39pm Matt from Springfield:

@P-90 6:38: YES! That was very well structured, perfect comic timing!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:39pm cosmic matrix:

really top quality music, amazing voices and qualities.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:41pm cosmic matrix:

question, everybody--should i play my contemporary electronic dance music for my 96-year-old grandma? i'm flying to st. louis tomorrow to see her!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:41pm Matt from Springfield:

RIP, Dirty Clown Jr...
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:41pm cosmic matrix:

sorry, not to distract from the drama.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:41pm Matt from Springfield:

Sure cosmic, go for it!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:42pm dale:

it really is well written and the score is great. love the cheesy mellotronish theraminish sounds
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:42pm cosmic matrix:

i'll definitely play some antique phonograph radio show for her!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:42pm dale:

...but it could be cool at the metropolitan opera.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:42pm Matt from Springfield:

RIP, Dirty Clown Sr...
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:43pm Crusty the clown:

Where's my money!?!?
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:43pm Matt from Springfield:

@cosmic: Another good idea.
Avatar Thu. 5/29/14 6:43pm northguineahills:

Dirty clown has an Irish priest?
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:43pm steve:

*sniff*
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:43pm dale:

why does the clergy man need to be irish? see - THAT'S detail!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:44pm P-90:

@ northguinea: doesn't everybody?
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:44pm cosmic matrix:

@matt, OK. you got it, thanks!! oh my god this so depressing...won't play this for my grandma!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:45pm Gee Lampa:

Some Joycean rejection of the futility of religion.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:45pm Matt from Springfield:

@NGH/dale: It's the automatic "radio" voice--full impression of a minor character conveyed simply through the accent.

@cosmic: Not unless she's as weird(er) as us! :)
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:45pm dale:

my wife said 'oh god - it always ends the same!'
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:46pm Matt from Springfield:

Danne D pointed out that Becky here has always made poor life choices..
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:46pm Gee Lampa:

I envision John Barrymore as DC Sr.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:47pm cosmic matrix:

W. O. W.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:47pm dale:

gee lampa - HA!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:47pm cosmic matrix:

nice sounds
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:49pm Gee Lampa:

Now it reminds me of the closing sequence in Rocky Horror Picture Show. "Super Heroes".
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:49pm Carmichael:

Wow, it takes a lot of work to listen to this. I'm tired.
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:50pm iris:

Who wrote the music? It's pretty good!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:51pm Matt from Springfield:

Bravo once again! Sending my applause out to ya, Clay!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:51pm cosmic matrix:

whose got the electric harpsichord???? what keyboard is that...? holy fucking shit
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:51pm cosmic matrix:

OMG
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:52pm P-90:

clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap......
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:52pm cosmic matrix:

i got on my drums and played along. fun
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:52pm dale:

iris - clay's a one man band.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:52pm Matt from Springfield:

@iris: Written, Directed, Produced, Composed and Voiced by Mr. Clay Pigeon himself!

BT!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:52pm Gee Lampa:

A giant of the form.
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:52pm cosmic matrix:

must be some crumar w/ strings and harpsichord or somethin
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:53pm cosmic matrix:

sounds like we're in a car now....time to change comment boards
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:53pm iris:

Wow!!! Yet another reason to love Clay! I wish he would jam with Gee and me!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:53pm Greg from VA:

Bravo, Bravo,... Cirque-de-Clay-Operetta!!!!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:53pm Matt from Springfield:

Although first played on the Dusty Show in 2006, the opus was first released in 1992 - search Amazon and you can get it on CD!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:53pm Gee Lampa:

I can't deliver like that, dear.
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:54pm iris:

I'd love to know what instruments he was using! An impressive work! Why don't more people know about Clay!
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:55pm Gee Lampa:

Now what is this Jazz out-freakage?
  Thu. 5/29/14 6:55pm iris:

@Matt Thanks for the info!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:55pm Ken From Hyde Park:

I wholeheartedly endorse this event or product!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:58pm Greg from VA:

After many years dragging myself around this planet, I've come to the conclusion that there is no Utopia, unless it is between the hours of 3 and 7 on Thursdays when I get to listen to Fabio and Clay!
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

My pleazh, iris--spread the word about this show!

@Ken HP: "I'm Matt from Springfield, and I command you to internalize the message of this event or product!"
Avatar    Thu. 5/29/14 6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

Always, Remember!
Have a good night Pigeonnaires!
  Thu. 5/29/14 7:58pm Crusty the clown:

did clay show up?
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