Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from January 9, 2013 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options January 9, 2013: Tonight's Programme

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Artist Track Approx. start time
Ken and Andy  Sven Second Delay   Options 0:00:00 ()

Listener comments!

Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:04pm kat330:

Hey, Ken and all to come!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:04pm Philo Gristle:

So this is the Swedish edition of the show, eh? Hello!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:04pm kat330:

Love the "Sven" for all our Scandinavian listeners.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:04pm Matt from Springfield:

Hi Ken! Hi Jazz-Chops Andy! Hi Sven! Sven?

And hi everybody else! Everybody clap!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:05pm kat330:

Hi, Matt! Say, folks to the east of us, we topped out at 60-degrees today, so "Listen to the Warm" tomorrow or shortly thereafter.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:06pm Matt from Springfield:

Ah, like "svenska"! So Sven is Swedish for Swede, never thought about it like that before, thanks!

Hi kat, Philo!
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:06pm G:

Andy's N.Y. resolution is never to be pinned down on a N.Y. resolution commitment
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:07pm Matt from Springfield:

It's been a warm 50°F here lately, a 10° jump from last week.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:07pm Philo Gristle:

Hiya Matt! Actually a common Swedish first name. I think the correct usage for the nationality is Svensk or Svenska. Either way could be a Svensational show!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:07pm Matt from Springfield:

You can't trust Andy to do anything except collect Monk residuals. And even then you need to hire an agent to do that!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:08pm kat330:

Speaking of household chores, I'll be in the kitchen for the next few. [Philo keeps cracking the whip. I'm just a kitchen drudge.]
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:08pm Pining for the Fjords:

Hello Sweden!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:08pm Dan B From Upstate:

another of andy's trash can stories?
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:08pm G:

Sven and Andy? Is that a John Kricfalusi hommage?
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:09pm Nick the Bard:

There needs to be more space at the phone desk, I'm getting all mixed up with these mice.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:09pm Matt from Springfield:

@Philo: Svensational™, that earns one of these! :)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:10pm Philo Gristle:

Yep, I'm the whip-per-snapper. But it might be whip-per-tilapia today.
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:10pm G:

Many listeners are more familiar with lie down comedy, aka therapy.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:10pm Pining for the Fjords:

@ NtB: Simplify Man.
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:11pm G:

The Speaker of the House is funny when he's crying. Which is a lot.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:11pm Nick the Bard:

Yeh well, I have my laptop and the phone desk comp here, so, yeh. I need to keep my head a mess it seems.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:12pm Matt from Springfield:

@G: Where only the therapist is laughing. And you have to pay them for the privilege! How cruel are those people?! :)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:12pm Matt from Springfield:

Wow, creepy and ironic headline!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:13pm Pining for the Fjords:

"Soft-spoken Widow"
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:13pm TV series Monk:

With this world we're in, the show just writes itself!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:14pm hamburger:

widow's piano teacher also agreed!
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:14pm G:

Monk would solve this case in a few minutes, if he could just stop checking the burners on the stove.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:15pm Matt from Springfield:

Hey 'burger!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:15pm kat330:

That Andy's got Monk like detective instincts.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:16pm Matt from Springfield:

The hypnotist created some pretty good Ken-hecklers last year.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:16pm Philo Gristle:

Thanks, Matt! Semi-attached to a plate here.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:17pm Dan B From Upstate:

Would Ken give up station managing for the lucrative stand up comedy world?
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:17pm hamburger:

hey yo! - glad to hear the first 7sd of the year
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:17pm G:

@hburger: It's all downhill from here people!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:18pm Matt from Springfield:

Bring Robert into the club! He can heckle by taking offense to various Andy jokes, and you can rehearse your responses to him.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:18pm kat330:

Ken doesn't sound as under the weather as he did this morning.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:19pm Matt from Springfield:

Due to his young son's sudden, tragic death, Eric Clapton retitled his tribute song, from the original "Grandmother Rapes In Heaven"... :P
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:20pm G:

Moribund air?
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:20pm kat330:

It also makes him yell louder.
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:20pm G:

At least Andy isn't smacking on gum.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:21pm Matt from Springfield:

Ask Andy if he knows of ANY of those people!!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:21pm hamburger:

oh how 7SD is my secret joy... can't tell anyone the next day, 'and then in the show, the host said how much fun it was to turn his headphones up!' :|
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:21pm kat330:

Maybe it could be the "Ken and Sven" show from now on.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:22pm Matt from Springfield:

Wait..on the one hand, Andy stole that line about "Connie Francis records" from Irwin's show right before this! But..that means Andy listens to WFMU!! Logical conflict....
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:23pm Danne D:

Hi folks :)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:23pm kat330:

That *was* VERY funny, Andy!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:23pm Danne D:

@M_f_S that probably means he heard it in the kitchen before the show
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:23pm Matt from Springfield:

Hi Danne! :)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:24pm PMD:

And it is indeed true that Andy cannot tell a joke. He becomes robo-joketeller.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:24pm kat330:

I'd suggest it's time to move on from "the boiler bits."
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:25pm hamburger:

ouuu... Ken trying to be funny is a bit sad :)

hey Danne
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:25pm Dan B From Upstate:

Danne D! I had fun chatting with you on NYE.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:25pm Danne D:

"Imagine there's no K-Rock...it's easy if you try"
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:26pm Philo Gristle:

Wasn't Rodney on KROQ??
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:26pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: But they're so intriguing! Maybe better for a 4-hour "one man show" down the road.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:26pm John McCabe in L.A.:

I can't figure out this topic
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:27pm Danne D:

Bigot Boiler Ambush :)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:27pm Danne D:

hamburger :)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:27pm Dan B From Upstate:

Someone yell out their favorite boiler!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:27pm common:

philo...i think so
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:27pm G:

Topic??
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:29pm kat330:

Beth allows him to take out / bring in the trash? Well, then he's good for something around the house.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:29pm Nick the Bard:

Hot to Trot is AMAZING. I should hang up on Hunter right now >:|
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:29pm cklequ:

Slant/Fin!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:30pm Philo Gristle:

@common I was thinking Rodney was LA and figured Ken was referencing a NYC station.... but the show was Rodney on the ROQ. MAYOR OF SUNSET STRIP is a sad & terrific little film.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:30pm kat330:

Yeah, Ken, talk about your fave DJ, Bryce.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:30pm Matt from Springfield:

The Record Fair is natural to Andy. He pretended to act unnatural in the Record Fair environment at least twice before.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:31pm Matt from Springfield:

Now I'm going to rent/stream "Sgt. Bilko" (c. 1995) to spot Andy humor...
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:31pm Pining for the Fjords:

Rodney Bingenheimer - He was in Rock and Roll High School.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:32pm kat330:

Not a soup Nazi but a record Nazi.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:33pm Philo Gristle:

One of the guys from Canned Heat was rumored to be doing exactly that in the early 70s.... buying a rare record, and scratching any other copies he found...
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:33pm Matt from Springfield:

Not true. Though the silly French accent will get you very far in business, it won't do everything.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:33pm kat330:

Make sure one of your planted hecklers is in that seat!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:34pm Philo Gristle:

I learned about Rodney and Vin Scelsa and Alan Freed from the Ramones....
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:34pm common:

yea...this will be good.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:34pm Pining for the Fjords:

I learned a lot from the Ramones.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:35pm PMD:

I thought Andy didn't want to have anything to do with the man.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:35pm Matt from Springfield:

LOL, this dialogue itself is very good :)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:35pm kat330:

Andy, why do you have such a need to fit in? That behavior doesn't fit in with your abrasive personality. ;)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:36pm Danne D:

Should have a worst smelling record buyer contest ;)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:36pm Pining for the Fjords:

Is Andy on pain killers?
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:36pm Danne D:

Note to self - talk about sports with Andy next time I see him.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:36pm Matt from Springfield:

SHOW THE MAP AS A POWERPOINT!! It will keep the audience at the edge of their seats!!!
;)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:37pm northguineahills:

Fitting in to fit in doesn't fit in, unless it's a culture of not fitting in to fit in.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:37pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: You need people to trust you, before you can screw them over. Strategic thinking ;)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:39pm Matt from Springfield:

@NGH: That's similar to the reflexive unthinking type of hipster/cool person, which I call a "conformist to nonconformity".
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:39pm kat330:

@ngh: You love those verbal constructs -- so do I!
Avatar Wed. 1/9/13 6:39pm G:

I thought that was getting the crickets from K&A initially
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:40pm kat330:

The MUCH funnier word is "underpants." I dunno why, but it always causes a weird reaction compared with underwear.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:40pm Matt from Springfield:

That's a stolen Andy joke! Listen to the Archives, in 20 years of shows Andy *must* have said that joke already...
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:40pm keving:

Waiting for laughing to end before crying: Actually made me laugh out loud.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:40pm kat330:

James had had had had had had had...u.s.w...
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:41pm common:

ken could just play his wed. morning show for his act. i laugh my ass off at work every time.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:41pm hamburger:

evan must have some material...
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:41pm Danne D:

Ken needs a Chris Christie hugging him joke
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:42pm kat330:

Tell the audience that they all have faces made for radio.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:42pm Matt from Springfield:

"Pants" is a funny word, with all kinds of constants in one syllable. "Ants in your pants" is a funny use of that in a phrase. "Where" is like several French vowels wrapped around a single R, not giving much impact.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:43pm kat330:

Yeah, some lunatic (playing the full moon).
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:43pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: Tell the hugging story, then tell something that Christie "said" to him afterwards.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:44pm John McCabe in L.A.:

I tried to call in but my suggestion was not good enough to get on the air
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:44pm Pining for the Fjords:

I prefer knickers myself... Here's a quick one, "I wanted to take the stage and knock you all dead but that's not possible, cause my jokes suck and most of you came here half way there already. No but seriously this is a great crowd you all look great!"
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:46pm kat330:

@Pining: It is funny, but also very British. Might not fly with a Joisey crowd.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:47pm kat330:

Try out some boil jokes. Those are always a stitch.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:47pm Danne D:

That's off "Let's Get Small"

I said socket not sprocket!!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:47pm Danne D:

Had that one on 8-track (Steve Martin: "Let's Get Small"
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:48pm northguineahills:

@ kat: A friend of mine just made that phrase his gchat tag, the first I'd heard of it. Best since ".Buffalo x8"

What if you were going to a fitting for fitting in to fit in and the fit was fitting so not fitting fit in is the fit.?
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:48pm Matt from Springfield:

That is a time-honored strategy, used by Steve Martin among others, to *just keep talking* until the audience laughs. Don't tell a joke, but stretch the story out until the story itself becomes a funny anti-joke.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:49pm PMD:

It took 48 minutes for Andy to lose the will to live.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:49pm kat330:

Get along? Ken is Andy's ONLY friend.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:50pm seang:

Andy is killing it 2nite
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:50pm Matt from Springfield:

"...and Ken's only invisible friend, Andy!"
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:50pm common:

looking at my steve martin record sleeve on my door right now...steve with a large cat. great.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:50pm kat330:

Have a puppet that resembles Breckman -- might be too late to have someone craft a dummy.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:51pm Matt from Springfield:

@seang: I always say how that's a mistake, when Andy occasionally reveals how funny he actually is...then the audience will expect that every show!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:51pm kat330:

@seang: Yep, I saw he was "on" from his first words of exchange with Irwin.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:52pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: The Andy puppets from ~2 years ago! Do they still have that?
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:53pm Pining for the Fjords:

I'm convinced Andy has switched medications.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:53pm Dan B From Upstate:

I can't picture Ken needing anger management, but yeah. We only hear him four hours a week when he's in entertainment mode. I wonder how Ken is when the mics aren't on.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:53pm kat330:

There will be an asteroid so near earth in 2029, it will be visible in daylight -- whoa!
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:55pm Dan B From Upstate:

Yeah. Ken needs anger management.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:56pm kat330:

@DanB: Yes, I figure Ken has an all-business persona we never get wind of. Otherwise I don't see how he can be manager of such a motley crew.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:56pm hamburger:

reminds me an episode from 'life and times of tim' 'tim fights an old man' :)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:56pm Matt from Springfield:

That's why once you get grey hair, you walk with a cane! So you look feeble, but then have an instrument of assault! You beat them then run!!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:56pm kat330:

amEdeo would appreciate this: Ken has a hot tempeh.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:57pm Dan B From Upstate:

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:57pm Matt from Springfield:

@Dan, kat: Ken explained it once before. It's more *in*ability to constructively express anger, leading it to burst out.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:57pm Fredericks:

And if the asteroid passes through a "keyhole", seven years later it will hit the earth. That's what I heard, last night, anyway.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:57pm kat330:

Sandy was a hurricane with a Hurry Cane?
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:58pm hamburger:

haha Dan B
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:58pm keving:

I think Ken's justified here, they sound infuriating.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:58pm Danne D:

Tried calling but I think I'm out of luck.

Here's the one boiler joke I found on the internet:

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Boiler!
Boiler who?
Boiler egg for four minutes!

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Boiler#ixzz2HWfjHrcA
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:59pm kat330:

I was in a movie theater in Boston (Cambridge actually) watching "Silent Movie" where a guy was reading EVERY effin subtitle out loud to his illiterate preschooler. Oy vey.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:59pm Danne D:

4 minutes of pissed off Ken stories would be the most awesome intro possible
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

That said, Ken does have an all-business side of the brain that blends in with the WFMU environment. An article about him mentions Ken walking around, turning off all lights not in use, knowing exact amounts of expenditures, cashflow and how much in the bank right now, etc.
(Or should I say: usw/und so weiter? :)
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:59pm Pining for the Fjords:

"Falling Down" is actually about Ken.
  Wed. 1/9/13 6:59pm seang:

you did the right thing Ken
  Wed. 1/9/13 7:00pm Danne D:

@M_f_S I've seen the edge of Angry Ken...it's scary
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 7:00pm Matt from Springfield:

OY OY OY Vey kat! Hope you've seen that since, in a more suitable environment!
Kudos on the "Hurry Cane".
  Wed. 1/9/13 7:00pm keving:

I think a door has been opened.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 7:01pm Matt from Springfield:

What? You watch movies in there? Whadda waste of space! ;)
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 7:01pm kat330:

I bet it's intense. You can just feel it.

Well, it's been great, kiddos! Good night and be well (wash those hands / get a good night's sleep!)!
  Wed. 1/9/13 7:02pm Dan B From Upstate:

The angry Ken story was great. I'd use something like that in your, um... monologue Sunday.
Avatar    Wed. 1/9/13 7:02pm Matt from Springfield:

Well that was fun! We'll see how their stand-up develops.

Have a good night, all yinze!
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