Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from August 28, 2013 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options August 28, 2013: You Probably Won't Win Squat (Encore Edition from 1999)

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Artist Track Approx. start time
Ken and Andy   "You Probably Won't Win Squat" from 1999   Options 0:00:00 ()

Listener comments!

Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:04pm Danne D:

Scary thing is kids born in 1990 are now 23 years old :(
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:05pm Matt from Springfield:

Tape sounds a bit muffled, but enjoyed the origin story of Andy's benediction, as the SNL Writers' Prayer!

Hey 7SD Encore fans! We just HAD to shout for more, didn't we!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:05pm steve:

is the audio muffled, just all bass and no highs, for anyone else?
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:06pm Matt from Springfield:

Hey Danne!
I started to feel old in 2011, when the sign "You must be born on or before" to buy cigs and booze, reached 1990 for alcohol! People born in the 90s can now buy alcohol??!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:07pm Matt from Springfield:

Heya steve! Same with me--some of these 90s shows are well-recorded on DATs, others don't sound as great.
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:07pm Andrea:

So sorry about the audio everyone! Field Marshall Freedman told me to play it. Also I thought it would be a good idea to play it from a boombox wrapped in pillows next to the studio mics.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:08pm Carmichael:

This sounds like it was recorded on my Radio Shack cassette recorder with the built-in mic.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:08pm Danne D:

People born when this show first aired would not be eligible to win if they played this again *sigh*
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:08pm steve:

hey Matt, thats helpful. i just moved to headphones, much much better!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:09pm Danne D:

@Andrea it's not your fault - you were eligible to call the original show probably :)
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:09pm Droll:

James Taylor and Poco in the first 7 minutes? This is so scripted.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:10pm Carmichael:

I moved to 96 Rock, much much better. :)
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:10pm Matt from Springfield:

@Andrea: Maybe next time Andy will phone in, to a phone wrapped in pillows!
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:12pm Robert:

I know we'd so like to still help these kids, but they're collecting Social Security by now.
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:13pm Andrea:

Careful -- the pillow idea is terrible enough that they'd probably do it!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:13pm Danne D:

Gosh I thought this was Faye Favorite for a secon there
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:14pm Carmichael:

The only duo in history who could screw up a show with kids and puppies.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:15pm Danne D:

Sadly I was not called :(
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:15pm Caryn:

Aw, Fei's name is spelled like we would write it out phonetically...
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:15pm Andrea:

Do you guys think this could be WFMU DJ Faye?
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:16pm Danne D:

lol - apparently not :)
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:16pm Carmichael:

It's probably AmEdeo, before the change.
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:16pm northguineahills:

This is so cruel.....
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:17pm Caryn:

And for a moment, Peter's last name sounded like Kujala, which would've been from over here, too...
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:17pm Matt from Springfield:

@Carm: Before he "crossed over" into the WFMUniverse?
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:18pm Matt from Springfield:

Heh, those "Little Angels"--this'll learn 'em!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:20pm Danne D:

100% chance he's still listening to the show
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:20pm Matt from Springfield:

7SD: The Radio Land of Put-Ons!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:21pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn: Is Kujala a proper name, or a thing? Or both, as the case may be?
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:21pm Danne D:

Surprised they didn't bring this kid back to do WFMU marathon pitches every year
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:22pm Matt from Springfield:

Quality mendicant appeal, this!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:22pm hamburger:

remember listening to a show where andy and ken get a call from a lil kid and just leave her rambling for the remaining 20 minutes or so
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:24pm nickinitaly:

a whole show based on trying to be sharper than kids is squat.
let the kids dj or do your job !!!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:24pm cklequ:

@ hamburger: Jan 6 2010
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:24pm ChrisB.:

This is a 7SD classic!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:25pm hamburger:

aye that's the one cklequ
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:25pm nickinitaly:

i know but its still embarassing
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:25pm Caryn:

@Matt: it's a last name (kuja means "alley", and -la is a common suffix for last names and place names; most last names like this come from the names of the estates/farms the families lived in in the olden days)
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:25pm Danne D:

Andy making a grandmother cry is probably still the seminal moment.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:25pm Matt from Springfield:

@hamburger: Listener Zoe saves the day! Green Mountain Man Mark's daughter. Hasn't called in like that since, but what a legendary moment.
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:26pm Robert:

I know a Kukaj family. I coached their kid in football.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:26pm Carmichael:

How do you know that, Matt? GMMM's daughter?
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:26pm Andrea:

Here's that show -- total classic! wfmu.org...
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:27pm hamburger:

@Danne D - "oh dear god" as andy would say. not sure I'd want to hear that!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:27pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: Andy offending the Mormon friend of Beth's (who she told to call in) and Andy's fears of the doghouse on Air was a pretty sublime moment too :)
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:27pm Danne D:

@hamburger you must :)
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:28pm nickinitaly:

kill it...its just not hapopening
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:28pm Carmichael:

I remember Ken's classic line to Andy, "You won't even apologize to a witch!"
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:28pm Andrea:

SSD Trivia moment -- Mark Smetherst was our DR export for this year's marathon -- giving advice on whether or not Ken and Andy should be licking the toilet in the WFMU bathroom
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:28pm Danne D:

Pretty sure it's pre-archive but I remember one marathon I was working the phones. They were in the (main) studio that day - not in the submarine. Anyway I get a call and after about 20 seconds I figure out it's Andy. I say "Oh, it's Andy." And hang up.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:28pm Matt from Springfield:

@Carm: Back when his moniker was "marq" he said that on a comment board and explained the story of her calling in, because Ken & Andy were "boring" that night. She said they were from "Barre" VT.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:29pm steve:

well this made it all worthwhile
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:29pm Danne D:

I forgot that this show actually succeeded!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:30pm kevin g:

Twenty bucks meant a lot in 1999.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:30pm Matt from Springfield:

Well, it seems Melissa is saved! One success story at least!
(But, she should make sure to hold back 16% of that, a not spend it on the races :)
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:30pm steve:

what did Melissa win?
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:30pm Danne D:

Matt with the infinite notebook.

Even getting the percentage right.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:31pm Matt from Springfield:

16% of $25 = $4
16% of $20 = $3.20
10% of $20 = $2

$20, steve! (1999 USD!)
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:31pm Andrea:

Wow, they have gone so much lower over the years!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:31pm Danne D:

$20, or basically Turnpike toll booth attendant tip money for Andy
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:32pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne :) I take pride in the marvelous moments of WFMU! :D
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:32pm hamburger:

boy since the friendship society thing, my math has decreased to *squat* - those numbers don't mean anything!
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:32pm nickinitaly:

please please stop!!!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:33pm amanda c:

hello 7 second delayers! i was 12 when this aired. clearly i wasn't a listener then, otherwise i wouldn't be listening now.
  Wed. 8/28/13 6:33pm nickinitaly:

I'll give 200$ to gear music
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:33pm Matt from Springfield:

"Do you have a younger brother or sister nearby, who's more likely to cry?"
"No. But I have a younger sister." The darndest things!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:35pm steve:

its bizarre that Andy felt some degree of shame after the show where he and Ken tried to make listeners repeat themselves over and over, but is seemingly unfazed by this...
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:37pm amanda c:

it's weird listening to an episode when the idea actually works.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:37pm Matt from Springfield:

NYC kids' accents - so stinkin' cute!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:38pm Caryn:

Ki? Another name spelled like we would spell it... WTH is going on?
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:40pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn: The NYC metro of area of '99 is connected with Finland of your present! This might be the wormhole that connects them! Pull the thread back to find out (but, don't rip at it *too* hard!)
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:41pm Matt from Springfield:

Name the cat Andy--it'll fall flat on its face! But it will get up and move on, unfazed! ;)
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:42pm Caryn:

@Matt: I'll try, but if you all disappear into a rip in the fabric of space and time... well, at least you won't be able to blame me.
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:44pm northguineahills:

How did they get so many kids to call in 14 years ago, when these days they can barely get anyone to call in.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:44pm Matt from Springfield:

I just hope I can get a laugh at my universe ending that way before it happens!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:45pm glenn:

i heard andy say kitkat bar. my fave. although i didn't think they were available in the usa.
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:46pm Pine:

Nestle bad
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:46pm glenn:

yes, but kitkat good.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:47pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Hey everyone, the first winner was my daughter Melissa,who lived up to Amanda C's idea and never listened again! Of course, that was actually due to being a captive childhood FMU listener
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:47pm Pine:

Biting the ends off and using them as a straw for tea is maybe worth it
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:47pm Matt from Springfield:

@glenn: They are, but not the original Rowntree/Nestle variety--due to an old agreement with Rowntree they're made by Hershey here (like EVERYFRIGGINTHING chocolate!!). I'm told that we lack many varieties of Kit Kats available in the UK. Potato chips/crisps as well.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:49pm Matt from Springfield:

No shit, Kevin, really?!
Happy Melissa winning $20 then! And if she didn't take to the indoctrination/bribery, well, at least you tried! :)
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:49pm Caryn:

@Pine: ooh, I've only heard of doing that with Tim Tams... Hmm, now need to try that.
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:50pm glenn:

yay timtams.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:50pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Ain't it fun listening to Andy get soaked of all those 1999 dollars!!??
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:51pm amanda c:

wow kevin! glad we heard back from someone from this episode! i was thinking that they should do a "where are they now" episode where they chronicle how this show changed the kids lives.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:52pm Matt from Springfield:

Yay Derek! ;D
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:52pm Caryn:

@Kevin: I hope she didn't stop listening because Andy never sent her the money...
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:52pm Andrea:

This is the best moment ever!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:53pm Caryn:

This is a fabulous way to be coming to the end of the show!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:56pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Yeah Matt & Amanda, my kids actually called into another show- " Calling in Sick" . Melissa won that one too! That was another "encore" several years ago. I called her in time to listen to most of her broadcast today. Yes Andy did pay up...Both times!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:57pm Matt from Springfield:

Yay Mr. Anderson!

@Caryn: They actually seem to have *planned* it this way, building up to an ending like this!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:57pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Yup, she went to college on that!
Avatar Wed. 8/28/13 6:58pm Caryn:

@Matt: which just proves they were way more on the ball back then.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:58pm amanda c:

hahaha! awesome episode. glad i was able to comment.
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:59pm estimo:

they should do a rerun with all the kids grown up and telling the story they actually made with the cash
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

Sweet, Kevin! :)
At least they started high, Caryn, so they could consistently fail later :)

Hilarious Encore fun, that's the re-of a re-of a re-run!
Have a great night everyone!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 6:59pm estimo:

hey andrea!
Avatar    Wed. 8/28/13 7:02pm Danne D:

Too bad Ken didn't take down the phone numbers of the kids back then. They could call whoever has those phone numbers now. Instant classic :) Later all :)
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