Options Shut Up, Weirdo with Frangry and Michele: Playlist from November 18, 2011 Options

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The promise of joy, the magic of blather. A call-in show for the New Age of Inquiry. The Man can't bust our chit-chat. (Visit homepage.)

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Options November 18, 2011: Vermin Stories

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Artist Track
Andy & Frangry  Shut Up, Weirdo   Options

Listener comments!

  Fri. 11/18/11 6:01pm FRANGRY:

HI WEIRDOS
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:02pm hamburger:

hi!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:02pm other david:

ahoy hoy, fellow weirdos
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:03pm g:

Let them eat cake!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:03pm Pedza:

Hello people!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:04pm seang:

all you need is love
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:04pm hamburger:

me thinks this'll be a classique show!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:04pm g:

Rats love cake.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:05pm other david:

get the bleep button ready!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:05pm Carmichael:

Hi, doggies!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:06pm Carmichael:

Vermin stories. Can we talk about Spike?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:06pm MISTER JOHNNY:

I heard there were lots of vermin at Occupy Wall Street...
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:06pm Gunpowder:

Fuck you, Spike.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:08pm g:

I used to work on a garbage truck. I saw MILLIONS of rats. I mistook the largest for a racoon.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:08pm urgh:

"Rat one homeless dude's face – awesome" – Frangry
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:08pm seang:

la vie de boheme
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:09pm conrad:

i had some sort of psychic vision one night as i was lying in bed. i opened my eyes for no particular reason and in the light coming through the window i saw a silverfish right in front of my face on the bed. i flicked it off instinctively. fucking disgusting.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:09pm Listener Dave From Seattle:

The rats would go away if the people would just go away.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:11pm g:

Maggot rain!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:12pm Tim Serpas:

GWAR songs in real life....
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:12pm MISTER JOHNNY:

It's raining Maggots!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:13pm other david:

I woke up one night to this horribly loud scratching noise, it was coming from a wall in the house.

Got up the attic, couldn't see/do anything.

Eventually it stopped. But about a week later a strange and disgusting smell developed in the hall.

Yes! Rat corpse. Had to take off the plasterboard to get it out. Also Andy, this smelled longer than four days as no creatures could get to the corpse. Fun fun.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:13pm timotato:

maggots are fly larvae
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:14pm MISTER JOHNNY:

What if there was a Maggot Fairy that left maggots under your pillow while you slept?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:14pm Danne D:

Hi Andy :) Hi Frangry :) <333 Hi weirdos :)

I am in the car so listening over the phone once I leave. Will try and call now with a story. Have a good one! And Happe Thanksgiving :)
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:14pm seang:

binge/purge
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:16pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Gerbils are VERMIN...
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:16pm conrad:

ew, the maggot abortion in cronenbergs the fly remake.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:16pm Listener Dave From Seattle:

Gerbils are furry mice.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:17pm MISTER JOHNNY:

How long would it take for a human corpse to be devoured by maggots?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:17pm ricardo:

Jenna in 15 years > frangry
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:17pm Elwyn:

I always thought of Richard Gere as a big gerbil to Cindy Crawford
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:18pm FRANGRY:

f u ricardo!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:18pm Robert in Seattle:

Conrad - that scene made it impossible for me to eat calzone for over a year.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:19pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rats love cheesecake - and black-light!!!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:20pm Listener zero:

There is a great Patton Oswalt rat standup routine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvbiGp_Evgo
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:20pm conrad:

that scene made me dump my half-fly girlfriend
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:20pm Gunpowder:

Fuck you, johnny
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:21pm shuman the human:

I spray painted a ferret silver at my grandma's house.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:21pm MISTER JOHNNY:

FRANGRY:

Would you ever consider "Maggot Therapy"?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:22pm Fred Derf:

About 20 years ago a guy told me about capturing an albino cockroach and getting the idea that if he bred it he could create a race of inferior roaches and solve the world's roach problem. Five years later I'm in my E. Harlem 5th floor walkup and I spot one - a white roach! The story was true! I nab it, put it in a pickle jar and stick it under the sink to contemplate what I should do with it. 4 or 5 days later I take it out and it had turned brown. Then I remembered that that was how the guy's story ended as well. No, at the time I was not unemployed but yes I was girlfriendless.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:22pm Comment Once Made During a Gang Bang:

"You made Frangry gag!"
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:22pm Chris in Harlem:

We lived in a place in the 120s on the first floor, above the boiler room. That meant the floors were warm, and were a signal for all the vermin to come on down. We got intimately acquainted with dealing with rats, spotting the smell of the dead, etc.
So the smell once was incredibly bad, the worst ever, and we couldn't find it! We looked in the usual places, as well as a traps, and eventually I broke down and spent an evening looking for it. After checking behind two bookshelves, I found it under the third. A MASSIVE rat had wedged itself in the small space between the shelf and the wall. It's fatal error was getting too fat to get out. Bonus Ew: the warm floors meant that it was partially fused to the floor. We had to use a spatula (and promptly threw it away) to remove it.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:22pm shuman the human:

The topic is vermin?

I saw Spike on YouTube.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:24pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Forehand or Backhand to kill Bats?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:24pm seang:

donde esta Gladys Clotworthy?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:25pm Listener zero:

JULIE FROM CINCINATTI!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:25pm shuman the human:

Why do mice always have homes with arched door ways? The must be handy to carve out the arch.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:26pm rabbit:

The little brown bat is endangered. They will not harm you. Please do not harm them.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:26pm ADL:

The only migraine I've ever had was brought on by mouse droppings in my Triscuits at work.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:26pm other david:

CALL DELIVERS
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:26pm Elwyn:

When Frangry says "You my friend", it means she thinks the caller is vermin.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:27pm pgw in mntclr:

stupid working late. missed 25 minutes of weirdos and vermin.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:27pm shuman the human:

I trained a rat to munch scat.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:27pm Robert in Seattle:

Cue someone to call in with a rat in the toilet call.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:27pm ADL:

Also, in Tokyo every business has to have its own mascot. I saw an exterminator that had images of dead roaches and crows on its side (Tokyo has a big crow problem). Its mascot? A uniformed, upright, smiling blue mouse.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:28pm Listener zero:

Can we have a literal shit show next?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:28pm shuman the human:

Cohen has SARS
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:28pm Maggot Expert:

The Miami Toilet Frog is an endangered species.
Please, do not pee on them!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:29pm mr natural:

John is a liar.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:29pm mr natural:

John is a liar.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:29pm Maggot Expert:

Silverfish are far worse than Maggots.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:30pm dale:

last summer i was trying to catch an injured stray cat outside my house. i put a havahart trap out with a plate of cat food in it and ended up trapping a possum instead. the possum ate all the food and then crapped on my good china. had to soak it all in straight bleach so i didn't have to throw out the plate.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:30pm Gunpowder:

fuck you, fake walkens
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:30pm Carmichael:

Nice call, Mr. Natural.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:31pm Vermin:

I had a friend who kept one of those plastic waterfall cat drinking things in her kitchen. After a few years, it started buzzing and making funny noises, so after a few weeks she thought it was getting old and the engine was dying. She picked it up and sat it on the kitchen counter, and then moved it over a little and noticed black dust.

She flipped it over and there were roaches in the hollow area underneath where the pump was that worked the fountain. They ran out and started running everywhere trying to hide.

They had made a big nest in there and it was resonating and buzzing as the pump engine ran to make the water fountain work.

The black dust was tons and tons of roach poo. The fountain went down the apartment building garbage chute in a bag. It also smelled really, really horrible. Roach poo stinks really bad when there's enough of it.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:31pm conrad:

let me tell you a story about a TIME TRAVELLING RAT
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:31pm Maggot Expert:

What's with all the STINKBUGS, eh?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:32pm Listener one:

Pffbbbbttttttt.....I gave birth to a healthy log.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:32pm Johnny Muller:

If you ever find a dead possum you're supposed to check its pouch for babies
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:32pm ya ya:

my Dad pulled a 10 inch worm out of his butthole last week. He thought he swallowed dental floss, but then inspected and saw it moving. It is a parasitic pinworm. He has had a few dead ones in his stools since taking the medication called... Vermox
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:32pm pgw in mntclr:

mice once ate a small bag of my friend's weed
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:33pm Elwyn:

So he backed over the baby possums to make sure they wouldn't seek vengeance over the death of their mother...
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:33pm pgw in mntclr:

Pancake for President
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:33pm g:

@ Ya ya you MUST call!!!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:34pm Pancake Says:

Speaking of vermin, Frangry gave me crabs.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:34pm Maggot Expert:

Possum II, the Revenge...starring Michael Caine.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:34pm Gunpowder:

my question is what are the stinkbugs doing in my apartment? what do the want?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:35pm ADL:

A friend of mine in college went to a series of doctors for terrible headaches he was getting. They couldn't figure it out and scheduled him for an MRI. He was in the college library that night and felt a gigantic sneeze coming on. He sneezes without covering his face (gross, I know) and sees a mucusy silverfish hit the carrel wall across from him, and sort of limp off. Headache resolved.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:36pm Silverfish:

That was some good snot, too. Oh well.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:37pm ya ya:

Also, i had a fly fly into my ear camping in BC once. It didn't come out for a year! all preserved in wax.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:37pm Silverfish:

"A friend of mine" = ADL
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:37pm Gunpowder:

@ADL what the fuck was it doing in there the whole time?!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:38pm conrad:

it limped off? did the force of the sneeze break its tiny silverfish legs?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:38pm g:

@ya ya: you should sell your preserved fly on ebay and give the $ to WFMU!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:39pm Terminology:

In Europe, what the caller is talking about (the hole, the foot places next to it) is called a "turkish toilet". They have them in poorer more rural areas of France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, etc.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:41pm Terminology:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_toilet
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:41pm ADL:

@ Gunpowder, silverfish and conrad:

I cannot speak for the insect. His theory was that he'd gotten it at a super greasy spoon Chinese place a week earlier. I dunno; I'm not sure an insect would survive that long.

That guy, by the way, works for Fox now (reg TV, not news).
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:41pm Slogan:

She don't care who sees her vajayjay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:42pm g:

Asian outhouse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpAh3wP3T20
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:43pm Listener zero:

I have silverfish, maggot, cockroach, flea, skunk and mice stories. But they're all kind of lame.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:44pm conrad:

try combining them into one story?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:44pm WFMU:

Go out the window!!!!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:45pm g:

Maggots can be good!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xt6NWkgydM
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:45pm JOe loves VJJ:

VEEJAYJAY!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:45pm G:

Is that where Inflatable Squirrel Carcass the show got its name? Always wondered that.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:45pm Maggot Expert:

Who was the Egyptian who mummified the Squirrels at WFMU???
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:46pm Listener Ian:

G -

That U-Tube vid was the high-class version of what I lived with for 2 weeks.....
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:46pm Elwyn:

Ken wants a t-shirt!
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:46pm G:

Punchlines are not Ken's strong suit.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:46pm conrad:

im like a vermin hypochondriac. im paranoid about silverfish in my nostrils and pinworms now.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:46pm pgw in mntclr:

Ken's not on the list
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:47pm Maggot Expert:

I really dig Squirrel Snuff...
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:47pm G:

yep
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:50pm Robert in Seattle:

I would just like to point out that I had dead sheep, maggots, pigs, rabbits, rats and more maggots in my story - and it was true! Just sayin...
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:52pm maggot brain:

VERMIN STORY - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=142485000
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:54pm G:

@ya ya 6:32 : Pinworms are not that long. Were they tapeworms or something else?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:54pm pgw in mntclr:

remember when the maggots were all up in Russell Crowe's vagina in "Gladiator"?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:54pm mikesheff:

NO BED BUGS, ANYONE? really, the worst vermin
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:56pm conrad:

'i went on public transport and got bedbugs' - only bedbug story.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:56pm dale:

do engorged ticks on the testicles count as vermin?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:56pm Maggot Expert:

Why did he have his MOM get the leaches off his junk???
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:57pm G:

An adopted cat gave every other cat I had and me ringworm once. That's not a worm, it's a red circular rash that is a colony of fungus that turns the skin red. If you scratch the sores, they are bloody underneath. The fungus is eating through your skin and chowing on your blood. Yum. Took weeks to get rid of the rashes.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:58pm Fred Derf:

Don't you hate it when the 3-ft. boa constrictor gets out of its tank and disappears into the walls for a couple of months? You never know when or where it's going show up.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:58pm G:

ANDY'S DYING ON THE AIR.
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:59pm Maggot Expert:

Has FRANGRY ever had anything 10 inches long in her butt?
  Fri. 11/18/11 6:59pm FRANGRY:

BYE WEIRDOS
  Fri. 11/18/11 7:00pm G:

They are tapeworms. They latch on to your intestine and eat your food. The medicine kills them and you poop them out. Fun.
  Fri. 11/18/11 7:00pm maggot brain:

Good one maggot expert
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