Options Why Oh Why? with Andrea Silenzi: Playlist from October 21, 2013 Options

Andrea Silenzi speaks with friends, experts, guys in bars, and her own Grandma Phyllis about where love and sex meets technology.

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Options October 21, 2013: Startup Dating, Two Boyfriends & This Feels Terrible Host Erin McGathy

Stories about girls being successful, and getting exactly what they want. Hear how one guest ends up on a first date after finding a great deal on airfare to Panama. Then, how to balance two boyfriends by always seeming busy. Plus, an interview with Erin McGathy from the This Feels Terrible Podcast from Feral Audio. She joins us to answers your love and relationship questions of all kinds. Post them to our playlist page, or give us a call at 201-209-9368,

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Artist Comments Approx. start time
First Date in Panama    0:00:00 (Pop‑up)
The Busy Gal's Guide to Having Two Boyfriends    0:04:34 (Pop‑up)
Erin McGathy  Subscribe to the This Feels Terrible podcast  0:15:55 (Pop‑up)

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Listener comments!

Avatar 6:07pm Ange:

Any questions for Erin McGathy? Call 201-209-9368
Avatar 6:08pm Cecile:

break up with him, girl.
Avatar 6:08pm northguineahills:

Meh, when I went through my man-whore stage, for 9 mos., I juggled 3 girls at once, and told them the truth about the situation. I purposely made them all meet each other. Of course, they they either lost interest in me, or I lost interest in them. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 6 years as of next Sunday.
Avatar 6:08pm Cecile:

you're an episode of Snapped waiting to happen.
Avatar 6:08pm Danne D:

WoW :)
Hi Andrea :)
Hi Erin :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:09pm dale:

she won't - free meals and drinks
Avatar 6:09pm glenn:

what a twit.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:10pm dale:

....but if she breaks up and still sees him as 'friends' she'll get more expensive meals and drinks
Avatar 6:10pm Danne D:

I am on a work call - so I actually am not listening yet :(
Avatar 6:12pm northguineahills:

Most of my former gfs I'm still good friends w/, if nothing bad happened, there's no reason not to be friends.
Avatar 6:12pm glenn:

it's like a bad alice munro story.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:13pm Andrew Waterloo:

I had a girlfriend who always overlapped her relationships.
Avatar 6:13pm Andrea:

@glenn haha
Avatar 6:13pm Andrea Silenzi:

@dale - it was NOT ABOUT THAT for her!! I hope that's clear.
Avatar 6:14pm Cecile:

but you were honest, ngh.
GUH. I was juggling for about a week, long story.
Turns out my old boyfriend didn't think we were still dating when my new boyfriend courteously asked him if he could go out with me.
Fortunately, I stayed with the new one.
Avatar 6:15pm Cecile:

It was a long-distance thing between the first guy and me, but we never officially broke up, so I was quite confused.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:17pm dale:

andrea - it's a game. she's thinking about what she's saying because she doesn't want to come across as an insecure needy user. sorry.....
Avatar 6:17pm northguineahills:

I'm unfortunately honest. I don't know how not to be. Part of the reason most people on the comment boards know pretty much nearly everything about me.
  6:18pm sweet cheri:

good evening everyone!!
  6:20pm Huh:

Why wouldn't you be honest from the getgo?
Avatar 6:20pm northguineahills:

...as I've said before, I've never bought a drink or food for a girl I wasn't in a serious relationship. (female and male friends, sure, all the time).
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm Andrew Waterloo:

I dunno dale, I think when you interpret dating as 'free drinks for the girls' it says something about your self-esteem. It is very reasonable that she just likes being with both guys. The problem is how she rationalizes the way she deals with it.
  6:22pm Huh:

Why limit it to two penises? Go for the whole bag, girl.
  6:23pm jt:

"A different lie for every set of eye's"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm dale:

okay. have fun kids.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm Carmichael:

Me too, NGH. I'm truthful to a fault. I have many opportunities to fudge a situation to my advantage, but I just can't.
Avatar 6:25pm glenn:

he's right. she's a cheating cheater who cheats.
Avatar 6:27pm northguineahills:

If she is upfront, then it's not cheating. Otherwise, 5-6 months, it's cheating.
Avatar 6:28pm northguineahills:

In my situation. Two girls were cool (on the surface) about it, one couldn't deal w/ it. It helped clean up the situation.
Avatar 6:28pm glenn:

but she wasn't upfront. not in the least.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm dale:

and andrew, i don't interpret dating as just that. but when you continue to date TWO people you don't really care for when you want a better third someone - it's pretty much just about what you get out of it until then
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm dale:

and i hope those guys were listening - she was not a mensa candidate
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm Mike Noble:

"which hole you pee from"? fcc safe?
Avatar 6:31pm glenn:

well, in all fairness, chipmunk voice doesn't add too many i.q. points.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:32pm dale:

i was listening to what she said, thank you.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:32pm Mike Noble:

If ange is reading this, I've got a question for Erin (as someone who's read a lot of relationship books): do you think the whole oxytocin-bonding by women is a real thing? (i.e. women turn any sexual encounter into a brain chemical enforced "love" bond) or is that just bunk science?
  6:33pm Huh:

Maybe she really does care about them. They can use plausible deniability when the caa-caa hits the fan.
Avatar 6:39pm sFrances from VA:

oh wow, i'm so sorry i'm just now tuning in! love This Feels Terrible & Erin on Harmontown,etc!
  6:42pm Stanley the M Guy:

  6:42pm Stanley the M Guy:

But this is a good show.
Avatar 6:43pm glenn:

grrr. an open relationship IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP.
Avatar 6:44pm sFrances from VA:

glenn: I agree. It might be a party, it might be a lot of things, but I don't see it as a relationship.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:46pm dale:

that was no feedback. people need to grow up. stop trying to rationalize an inability to focus on giving yourself to only one person.
  6:48pm jt:

Glenn, dude, its not an open relationship if the other side doesn't know its open..
Avatar 6:50pm glenn:

that sentence makes no sense.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm Mike Noble:

you should tell erin that you sent her a TFT live question about this!
Avatar 6:56pm glenn:

the "new openness" is not always a good thing.
Avatar 6:56pm Danne D:

Thanks for a good listen guys :) Have a good night Erin, Andrea, and everyone :)
Avatar 6:58pm sFrances from VA:

(i spent a month in London & Paris with an ex bf. we'd booked it months in advance & still had a great time)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm Mike Noble:

Andrea, please take a trip to LA soon so Erin can have you on TFT!
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