Bell Kelly's Teenage Wasteland

Check out Bill's 2001 Marathon premium!

A long, long time ago,
in a land far, far away, a radio monument was erected to our arrested adolescence. That erection, known as "The Teenage Wasteland," hosted by Bill Kelly, has been a toxic waste dump to all of those among us who despise rrreal rock and roll since its demon spawn back on that hoary day, August 15th, 1978, over the formerly pristine airwaves of WFMU.

[Hear the damage for yourself! Listen to the Teenage Wasteland archives.]

We are proud to acknowledge our part in the slow, tortuous death of rock music and look forward to be able to shovel more vermin infested filth over its corpse, still partially exposed and rotting in its shallow grave. Our well known affinity for 1960's garage bands and seminal American music is matched only in importance by the following truths which we hold to be self evident:
  • James Stewart, not John Wayne, shot Liberty Valence;
  • Robots and dogs are natural enemies;
  • Baked beans and tuna salad taste best when mixed together;
  • Meryl Streep's bridal shower was held at Belmont Park;
  • The Yankees rule while the Mets and Red Sox drool;
  • All men wish they were pimples on Gillian Anderson's butt;
  • England is located where Great Britain used to be;
  • The Italians killed Jesus;
  • Jerry Garcia passed wind in the bath tub and bit at the bubbles;
  • The only things that really matter are baseball and rrreal rock and roll.

This way to the Hall of Shame

A by-product of the above

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