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Street interviews, listener call-ins, vinyl gluttery, sporadic normalcy, original floperas and fiktion, blatant talking over songs, politix, tenderness, and a vague undercurrent of angst. Right up your alley!
May 29, 2014: I Go AWOL ... Stuck In An Elevator - That Dirty Clown - More - Brian Turner Subs!
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This is the episode where I couldn't make it to the studio because I was actually TRAPPED in an elevator in Manhattan! I always leave for WFMU from my place at around 5pm and take the PATH train to Jersey City. As usual, I left our place at 5pm, but when I took the elevator to the ground floor it opened in the basement instead. This was very unusual as the elevator won't normally go to the basement unless the Superintendant uses his key. It was creepy down there, too, kind of Freddy Krueger-like with cobwebs and pipes and old cardboard boxes and shadows and unexplained skitterings in the corners. I quickly tried to take the elevator back up to the ground floor. This time, the elevator stopped between floors and the door started to open, but then stopped and after that it refused to budge. I tried to pry it open with my bare hands to no avail. I tried pressing all the buttons I could press but nothing would happen.
Recenty, an emergency button was installed in the elevator for just such a circumstance. Our building elevator is very old. 50+ years the repairman said, and in need of replacing. I pressed the emergency button and a woman answered on the other end. She asked me where I was located and told me that help would arrive "within the hour." It was 5:05pm and I was due on-the-air at 6pm.
At this point I took out my cell phone and I was able to call my wife in the building and tell her I was stuck, I asked her to phone Fabio at FMU to tell him of my situation. She reported back that she had contacted Fab and that Station Manager Ken was now also aware that I was stuck. A thought occurred to me that perhaps Station Manager Ken was thinking this was the craziest excuse for not showing up that he had ever heard.
I decided to try and phone Fabio and try and see if I could do the show live from the elevator if possible, but he wasn't able to hear me. I could hear him, but he couldn't hear me. He kept saying, "Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? I can't hear you!" And of course I was saying "Fab! Fab, it's me! It's me!" but he couldn't hear me. Sadly, I hung up and began to appraise my situation.
A couple of neighbors happened by. I could hear them. barely, through the thick elevator door. They stayed for a little while to keep me company, but in time I could tell they were getting restless, so I told them I'd be fine that they could go. Help was on the way. My wife also came and talked to me for a while. It was an odd feeling, like prison I suppose. Being close to someone, but being unable to touch them or, in my case, even to see them.
I suppose it was maybe twenty-minutes later that the first twinge of anxiety came into my mind. I told myself it would be all right and that there was no need to freak out, but in my isolation, I did briefly imagine things like "Is there enough air in here? What if this thing falls! What if the wires catch on fire and I burn alive in here." I didn't get too carried away with such thoughts, but I entertained them ever so slightly. I was also trapped with a large black plastic bag full of trash which I had brought with me to place on the curb. I imagined how, if I fell, I would use the bag at the last second to break my fall and soften my impact. I even thought about using it as a makeshift beanbag chair as I had nowhere to sit in the small 3' x 4' space. At some point a admitted to myself that there would be no Dusty Show. That made me sad because I enjoy it so and often put a lot of work into preparation.
It was 75-minutes before the repairman arrived. I was relieved to hear him outside the elevator door. He made quick work of getting me free and in a moment I was hugging my wife and shaking the repairman's hand. My ordeal was over. I still haven't ridden the elevator even though they tell me it's fixed. At any rate, I'm sorry I missed the show and I thank Kirsten, Station Manager Ken, and Fabio for their assistance and I thank Brian Turner for filling in for me. From what I understand, he played That Dirty Clown.
|K. Ross||Entire CD||That Dirty Clown||Grim Retailers||2006?||CD||Brian elected to play That Dirty Clown, a popera that I composed, performed, and voiced back in 1992 when I lived in Florida. It was originally released in an edition of 200 cassettes. In the mid-oughts, a company called Grim Retailers re-released it. Since, it has settled back into near-obscurity. It has been aired a few times before on FMU. I hope you enjoy it.|
After That Dirty Clown, Brian played some records, but I don't know what they were. I'm sure they were great. Thanks again, Brian. And thanks to you for listening. I hope you keep tuning in to The Dusty Show. I do appreciate it. Drop me a line if you're so inclined. email@example.com ---- Yopu may also join Pigeonnaires on Facebook for more Dusty-oriented fun. Always remember. CP