Favoriting Too Much Information with Benjamen Walker: Playlist from July 29, 2013 Favoriting

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Too Much Information is the sober hangover after the digital party has run out of memes, apps and schemes. Host Benjamen Walker finds out that, in a world where everyone overshares the truth 140 characters at a time, telling tales might be the most honest thing to do.

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Favoriting July 29, 2013: The Art of the Pickup: Andrea Silenzi Guest Hosts

Join guest host Andrea Silenzi for a look at THE ART OF THE PICKUP. How meet people in public places, ask them to kill things for you, and make sure they won't steal your laptop when you bring them home. Featuring Laura Mayer, Grandma Phyllis, some dudes in a bar, and an interview with Dr. Robert Glover, the author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy."

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Artist Track Comments
Beex  Beat, Beat   Favoriting Free Music Archive 
Grandma Phyllis  Advice for meeting people: Be yourself, though she cautions, "I still don't know who I am. I know who I'm trying to be!"   Favoriting  
Laura Mayer  Advice for meeting people: go to a bar that's exactly 307 paces from your mouse-infested apartment.   Favoriting
Follow Laura on Twitter.

Podington Bear  By Grace   Favoriting Free Music Archive 
Apes of God  Advice for meeting girls: go to a paint store.   Favoriting
via Music for Maniacs

Dr. Robert Glover  Advice for meeting women: tell them to do something for you   Favoriting
Dr. Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy
& WFMU's Brett W. Thompson

Andrea Silenzi + Anonymous Ex Roommate  Advice for meeting people: make sure they won't steal your laptop and sea salt shaker   Favoriting
RIP Sea Salt Shaker

Riz Ortolani  Cannibal Holocaust Theme   Favoriting Thank you for listening! Join me as I guest host for the next 3 weeks. Let me know if you have any stories for the show about love, dating or technology by sending a note to andrea at free music archive dot org. 

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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:03pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

Marmalade Kitty:

Only Asians have the cellphone case..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm

I love going to classless dives, you meet some colorful characters.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

Rudy's rules.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:09pm

Marmalade Kitty:

"Only Asians have the cellphone case.."

*I didn't say that.. BTW! ;)
Avatar 6:15pm
Eyepatch Fox:

Oh man. I'm the same way with the cockroaches in my apartment.
Marmalade Kitty:

This bar looks familiar! Good bar!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

Annoying dating advice from my father:
- Dress nicer.
- Shave your beard. I read that women don't like beards.
- Go to Mass.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:27pm

See, the 95% thing is why I resist this kind of advice. I hate pestering people. I really *should* take the advice, though.
Marmalade Kitty:

Hunting skills!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm

All this rubs me the wrong way.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:36pm

All I do is ask, "what's your name?". Conversation ensues, and if they're interesting, then a relationship of some sort fashion, friend or lover.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:36pm

relationship of some sort will develop, friend or lover.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:36pm

i feel like i tuned in to 1956
Dave in PA:

I'd be interested to see the results of an experiment where this technique was used on women and then have the women interviewed afterward to see how they felt about the approach, what they liked or didn't like about it, etc.
Avatar 6:41pm
Eyepatch Fox:

I don't WANT to agree with this, but at the time just about every example given, and every personal experience of my life and conversation I've had with other women points to the fact that that this is, in fact, how 90% of women respond, myself included.
Marmalade Kitty:

I bet this guy is a real sex pest!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm

I used to call the night of or the next day if I was busy that night.
Avatar 6:45pm
Eyepatch Fox:

But it only works when it's someone that you are already attracted to.

I have no doubt that this works in some instances, and I see that projecting confidence is a good thing, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds it somewhat unethical to adopt a general strategy of effectively pestering women (and telling them what to do). I'd probably be too timid to try it in any case, but isn't it also possible that by using this approach repeatedly one is setting up a dynamic that is a bad foundation for a relationship in the first place?
Marmalade Kitty:

the type of guys who work their way round the whole bar trying it on! ;)
Avatar 6:51pm

Hi guys! Thank you for all these great comments. This is about to get really embarrassing for me and my ex-roommate. I have no idea why I'm airing this last segment... blushing while broadcasting

cardboard!?! this guys rules!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm

I used to be very shy until I hit 22, and then something happened and I just became myself. I just like talking to people and being social. So, when I was single, it was easy to meet girls. No ulterior motives, just being myself. If they weren't in to me, but interesting, then I gained a friend.

did you guys hook up yet???? this is amazing!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:56pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

Wow, defensive much?
Avatar 6:57pm

No! We never hooked up!! There is a roommate code I refuse to violate

That was brave, Andrea, and I think it's useful to hear an honest discussion like that.

there was some tension there. thanks for sharing that - that was fun. great show, look forward to next week - i hope you archives these
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm

That was fun, Andrea, thanks!
Marmalade Kitty:

a jealous flatmate?

But why was he so hostile? Couldn't handle what seemed like obviously justified criticism.
Avatar 7:01pm

Join us for the next 3 weeks for more shows like this one! And come out for the live TMI on August 26th at McNally Jackson Books (mcnallyjackson.com)

Andrea, I don't know if you remember the first time you heard TAL, but I do. It was like a door in the universe opened. I didn't even realize the door was there blocking something and now that it is open I can see into this huge magnificent room I could never have imagined before. I don't want to flatter too much, but your ex-roomate is such an indescribable tool I'm having trouble rationalizing it and that FELLS SO GOOD.
SG in SF:

Dr. Glover, it really is that easy!

-a female
SG in SF:

Are there going to be any more Andrea shows after the next 3? I have really enjoyed the dating with Andrea, guest starring Grandma, segments.

Andrea, you said 95% if the time you do not welcome a guy talking to you. Here is my big question to you: how do you ever get into a relationship?? How do women in general get into relationships if they don't want guys talking to them??

This is why it is so hard for many guys to go through the process of getting into a relationship with a woman. If you women don't want guys talking to you, then how are we supposed to get into a relationship with you?
Avatar 4:05pm

Hi Ace! I prefer to meet someone through friends, work, at a party, or online dating. There is a culture of street harassment that women are subject to everywhere -- approaching me in public without an introduction of some kind might feel like part of that harassment. If I saw you at the grocery store, and thought you were cute, I would probably be the one to say hello first. If you say hello first, you risk making me feel uncomfortable when I'm going about my business.

Andrea (or is it Ange?), thank you for replying to my question. Okay, I do understand to up to a point of your viewpoint that there are situations in which it can feel like harrassment to you. However, what about a guy that is just being friendly and is just showing humanity toward you... another fellow human being? What is so wrong with that??

Also, you say if you find a guy attractive then you would want to be the one to say hello first ... because if HE says hello first then he would risk making you feel uncomfortable. Okay, but as the old saying goes, "you want to have your cake and eat it too". What I mean is, you feel if a guy thinks you're attractive, and he speaks to you, then it is basically "harrassment". BUT, if YOU find HIM attractive, and you choose to speak to him, then it is not harrassment for you to speak to him? In other words, why is it not harrassment if you choose to speak to the random guy first, but it IS essentially harrassment if the guy chooses to speak to you first?

Andrea, I'm not at all trying to sound as if I'm angry or confrontational, I'm just trying to figure out all this stuff.

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