Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from December 11, 2013 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options December 11, 2013: Santa's Naughty List

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Ken & Andy  0:00:00 (MP3 | )

Listener comments!

Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:06pm davex:

We all need a RoboAndy app!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:06pm I.K.E. (Ice King Enterprises):

Should I be a tiresome pedantic geek and point out that Daleks aren't really robots? That they're actually more like space Nazi blobs in metal shells? No? I shouldn't? Never mind, then.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:08pm Andy says hi:

Some cardboard will do wonders for your voice!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:11pm madman:

that voice sounded like howard cosell
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:13pm ScottC:

isn't there some hard and fast rule about eating on air?
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:13pm Ange:

Is this going to be the show where Ken loses the will to live? Since Andy arrived late, he sounds on the edge!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:14pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

Daleks predated the Borg by decades. & Mark Zuckerberg by another decade.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:14pm dale:

is this a setup for uncle andy to sell merch?
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:14pm davex:

Daleks also postdated everything, come to think of it.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:15pm Ange:

Nope, Andy wants to promo his merch on my show!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:18pm davex:

Howard Cosell isn't too far off, I guess they decided against the Stephen Wright voice.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:19pm chris:

run more children through the voice modulator !
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:20pm dale:

i was always a good boy but got socks and a tube of underpants for christmas - and i'm not even jewish
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:20pm P-90:

"Charlie Brown Dave Brubeck thing": I was just telling someone the other day that Schulz told the producers of the original Peanuts Christmas special that he wanted "Jazz---something like Brubeck" So no surprise that Andy remembered it as "Charlie Brown/Brubeck", that's what it sounds like. Guraldi was a genius in his own right, "Linus and Lucy" and the carol he composed have become Christmas classics. Even Andy knows them.
Avatar Wed. 12/11/13 6:20pm bridge:

This is hilarious. I have two children I can send over for whistle-blowing...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:21pm dale:

snowden blew the whistle on the clauses list. that's why the commies harbor him
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:24pm davex:

The stream is down.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:24pm Nick the Bard:

The caller didn't even have a kid, he can't go through.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:25pm davex:

Or intermittent, anyway.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:25pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

Vince Guaraldi a genu-wine heroin-addicted Jazz Artist; we used to get that stuff & not be condescended to; was just websearching Bob Dorough because of 'Blue Xmas' & reflecting on his 'Schoolhouse Rock' stuff...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:25pm Andy says hi:

andy management?
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:25pm P-90:

@Davex: the pop-up player stream is working. Try it.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:26pm Nick the Bard:

kid in franklin - CALL BACK and STAY ON THE LINE WHILE KEN GOES ON A TANGENT
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:27pm davex:

P-90: Thanks, it's been steady for over a minute now.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:27pm dale:

ken seems like the most even-keeled dude out there. but his concealed weapon says otherwise.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:28pm davex:

Of course, they would be angry. It's a bit like the Argument Sketch.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:28pm Carmichael:

When will Andy talk about masturbation?
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:28pm conrad:

Idea for next weeks show: talk to the anger management group, and have them explain themselves.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:29pm common:

i quit a band last year and it was easier than ken's experience sounds.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:29pm Nick the Bard:

Someone get their kid to call in, I'm sitting here looking at tents to buy.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:30pm madman:

iam goin on a beer run
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:30pm dale:

someone wanted me to go to therapy once. i felt that going to a bar was more helpful. prolly not, but i got more out of it
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:30pm P-90:

@RevRab: Astute and knowledgeable as always.

Guaraldi "lucked out" and got a shot at reaching a literally enormous audience (esp. for a Jazz muso) and certainly made the most of it.
And: yeah, Schoolhouse Rock totally rocks!
Avatar Wed. 12/11/13 6:31pm spodiodi:

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS RADIO... *PLEASE* STOP EATING ON MIC
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:31pm dale:

this conversation has veered far away from santa and the birth of our lord and savior jesus h. christ
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:32pm cee dubbles:

maybe he mis read the badge. Toyota Pee-us
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:32pm P-90:

Getting into a fight at Anger Management Camp: priceless.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:33pm ScottC:

you're getting Nazis confused with EST
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:34pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- except that a quick websearch indicates Guaraldi's relation to drugs is ambiguous, for accuracy's sake...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:35pm madman:

asking for whisky at the aaa meeting
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:35pm ScottC:

or Synanon
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:35pm MikeNobleMobile:

Greek nazis are where it's at.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:36pm Nick the Bard:

yeh, if you're going to be an adult playing a kid, at least talk in a fake kid voice and not sound like youv'e been smoking camels since age 6 months
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:39pm Carmichael:

Ken was playing Nazi music this morning, so this topic is probably self-developing.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:39pm dale:

EVERYONE deserves a toy - an uncle andy toy at $29.95 plus tax, shipping and handling.
Avatar Wed. 12/11/13 6:39pm spodiodi:

Zeppo Kennedy in 2016
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:39pm P-90:

@RR: I never researched it closely, but I think I had always heard that he was a juicer, not a junkie. Primarily.

In any case, he dropped dead at a tragically early age (backstage at a gig! I think) or he would no doubt have composed a huge body of work for the subsequent specials.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:40pm Nick the Bard:

I was the straight edge freak too, so at least I can kind of relate to someone
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:40pm davex:

dale: Do we get a free computer voice reading of tweets?
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:40pm P-90:

A Kennedy got date-raped? That's a switch...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:40pm dale:

i have a joke for andy - 'i'm an alcoholic and i have a problem - my glass is empty.' needs the right inflection and delivery, but it's a solid joke
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:41pm Carmichael:

I think he was smoking the reefer, like all jazz musicians. It almost killed Vic Arpeggio.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:42pm P-90:

@Dale: "my glass is HALF-empty, right?
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:43pm dale:

p-90 - way to raise the bar
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:45pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

...great - you raise the bar - now I can't even reach my half-empty glass...& what happened to that piano player -?!...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:45pm Andy says hi:

wait for the punchline...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:45pm dale:

this show has hit all the touchpoints of a successful holiday - anger management, ratting out, masturbation, public urination, murder
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:45pm some guy:

Nobody wants to encourage their kids to be snitches. Fatal flaw: they've cast themselves and Santa as The Man. And we HATE The Man...
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:45pm Andy says hi:

I'm coming!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:47pm Carmichael:

It's not Kar-mel. It's Kare-uh-mel.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:48pm Greg from VA:

I love Andy, but when the term Date Rape comes up in his jokes, I tune out. If you have had a family member who was date raped, you would feel the same. Maybe I'm being too PC, don't mean to break the highty high ho ho hipster vibe on this comments board, but it sucks to hear date rape and then some laughing afterward, it sucks, OK, I'm gone, who gives a fuck anyway.
Avatar Wed. 12/11/13 6:50pm bridge:

You're right, Greg. I felt similarly. It actually hurts to hear jokes like that.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:50pm Hugh:

Snitches get stitches.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:51pm P-90:

@MikeNobleMobile re: "Greek Nazis are where it's at": If you're into "Greek" Nazis: The gyms in Chelsea are full of them. There, I've lowered the bar again. K&A bring out the worst in me. Sorry.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:51pm Andy says hi:

Santa was naughty!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:52pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

I don't presume to say you're wrong
- but Transgression is an essential component of Humor. I presume Andy is 100% against date rape, & if anyone interpretted it as pro, then this show is the least of their problems, & certainly not the source of them.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:54pm Andy says hi:

after twenty years... how long can you keep up the jokes?
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:54pm Marcel M:

Yeah seems pretty weird to listen to this show and be offended by that...
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:55pm P-90:

"mighty high ho ho hipster vibe on this board" HaHa
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:55pm dale:

andy - there's your next 10 mil - toys for dementia patients. serious about that.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:56pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

my 2cents: the worst thing is to deny it & not speak of it - so + everybody.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:56pm P-90:

What would the holiday season be without the traditional date-rape humor?
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:56pm giraffe-o:

Ken is saving up his anger, to unleash it when he calls into 'Shut up, Weirdo" this Friday.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:56pm Marcel M:

p-90, best pick up ever!
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:57pm FYOW:

Everyone has the right to be offended. That doesn't give them the right to control other people's content.
  Wed. 12/11/13 6:57pm drunken monkey:

Ken is saving up his anger, to unleash it on his family at Christmastime
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:58pm JakeGould:

I find the idea of Ken & Andy going to someone’s dinner hobo-ish.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:58pm dale:

DON'T give andy beans for dinner - fuel for more humor!
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 6:58pm JakeGould:

Ken is going to scream like a banshee on December 31st, 11:45pm.
Avatar Wed. 12/11/13 6:58pm George:

this is a phenomenal show
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 7:00pm madman:

my new years resolution join anger management
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 7:03pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- granted - I am 'reverse-lurking' - reading & not listening. I *presume* his humor does not glorify the rapist, but the opposite.
Avatar    Wed. 12/11/13 7:09pm JakeGould:

So where is the party? Or dinner?
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