Options Too Much Information with Benjamen Walker: Playlist from July 29, 2013 Options

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Too Much Information is the sober hangover after the digital party has run out of memes, apps and schemes. Host Benjamen Walker finds out that, in a world where everyone overshares the truth 140 characters at a time, telling tales might be the most honest thing to do.

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Options July 29, 2013: The Art of the Pickup: Andrea Silenzi Guest Hosts

Join guest host Andrea Silenzi for a look at THE ART OF THE PICKUP. How meet people in public places, ask them to kill things for you, and make sure they won't steal your laptop when you bring them home. Featuring Laura Mayer, Grandma Phyllis, some dudes in a bar, and an interview with Dr. Robert Glover, the author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy."



Listen to this show: MP3 - 128K | | Add or read comments

Artist Track Comments
Beex  Beat, Beat   Options Free Music Archive 
Grandma Phyllis  Advice for meeting people: Be yourself, though she cautions, "I still don't know who I am. I know who I'm trying to be!"   Options  
Laura Mayer  Advice for meeting people: go to a bar that's exactly 307 paces from your mouse-infested apartment.   Options
Follow Laura on Twitter.

 
Podington Bear  By Grace   Options Free Music Archive 
Apes of God  Advice for meeting girls: go to a paint store.   Options
via Music for Maniacs

 
Dr. Robert Glover  Advice for meeting women: tell them to do something for you   Options
Dr. Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy
& WFMU's Brett W. Thompson

 
Andrea Silenzi + Anonymous Ex Roommate   Advice for meeting people: make sure they won't steal your laptop and sea salt shaker   Options
RIP Sea Salt Shaker

 
Riz Ortolani  Cannibal Holocaust Theme   Options Thank you for listening! Join me as I guest host for the next 3 weeks. Let me know if you have any stories for the show about love, dating or technology by sending a note to andrea at free music archive dot org. 

Listener comments!

Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:03pm Greg from Bloomfield:

Showlenzi!
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 6:06pm Marmalade Kitty:

Only Asians have the cellphone case..
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:06pm northguineahills:

I love going to classless dives, you meet some colorful characters.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:08pm Greg from Bloomfield:

Rudy's rules.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:09pm Ike:

Fascinating.
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 6:11pm Marmalade Kitty:

"Only Asians have the cellphone case.."

*I didn't say that.. BTW! ;)
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:15pm Eyepatch Fox:

Oh man. I'm the same way with the cockroaches in my apartment.
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 6:16pm Marmalade Kitty:

This bar looks familiar! Good bar!
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:24pm Greg from Bloomfield:

Annoying dating advice from my father:
- Dress nicer.
- Shave your beard. I read that women don't like beards.
- Go to Mass.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:27pm Ike:

See, the 95% thing is why I resist this kind of advice. I hate pestering people. I really *should* take the advice, though.
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 6:30pm Marmalade Kitty:

Hunting skills!
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:31pm Skirkie:

All this rubs me the wrong way.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:36pm northguineahills:

All I do is ask, "what's your name?". Conversation ensues, and if they're interesting, then a relationship of some sort fashion, friend or lover.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:36pm northguineahills:

relationship of some sort will develop, friend or lover.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:36pm dale:

i feel like i tuned in to 1956
  Mon. 7/29/13 6:41pm Dave in PA:

I'd be interested to see the results of an experiment where this technique was used on women and then have the women interviewed afterward to see how they felt about the approach, what they liked or didn't like about it, etc.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:41pm Eyepatch Fox:

I don't WANT to agree with this, but at the time just about every example given, and every personal experience of my life and conversation I've had with other women points to the fact that that this is, in fact, how 90% of women respond, myself included.
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 6:42pm Marmalade Kitty:

I bet this guy is a real sex pest!
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:44pm northguineahills:

I used to call the night of or the next day if I was busy that night.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:45pm Eyepatch Fox:

But it only works when it's someone that you are already attracted to.
  Mon. 7/29/13 6:48pm Mark:

I have no doubt that this works in some instances, and I see that projecting confidence is a good thing, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds it somewhat unethical to adopt a general strategy of effectively pestering women (and telling them what to do). I'd probably be too timid to try it in any case, but isn't it also possible that by using this approach repeatedly one is setting up a dynamic that is a bad foundation for a relationship in the first place?
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 6:50pm Marmalade Kitty:

the type of guys who work their way round the whole bar trying it on! ;)
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:51pm Andrea:

Hi guys! Thank you for all these great comments. This is about to get really embarrassing for me and my ex-roommate. I have no idea why I'm airing this last segment... blushing while broadcasting
  Mon. 7/29/13 6:53pm stefan:

cardboard!?! this guys rules!!
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:54pm northguineahills:

I used to be very shy until I hit 22, and then something happened and I just became myself. I just like talking to people and being social. So, when I was single, it was easy to meet girls. No ulterior motives, just being myself. If they weren't in to me, but interesting, then I gained a friend.
  Mon. 7/29/13 6:54pm stefan:

did you guys hook up yet???? this is amazing!!
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:56pm Greg from Bloomfield:

Wow, defensive much?
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:57pm Andrea:

No! We never hooked up!! There is a roommate code I refuse to violate
  Mon. 7/29/13 6:58pm Mark:

That was brave, Andrea, and I think it's useful to hear an honest discussion like that.
  Mon. 7/29/13 6:58pm stefan:

there was some tension there. thanks for sharing that - that was fun. great show, look forward to next week - i hope you archives these
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 6:59pm northguineahills:

That was fun, Andrea, thanks!
Avatar Mon. 7/29/13 7:00pm Marmalade Kitty:

a jealous flatmate?
  Mon. 7/29/13 7:00pm Mark:

But why was he so hostile? Couldn't handle what seemed like obviously justified criticism.
Avatar    Mon. 7/29/13 7:01pm Andrea:

Join us for the next 3 weeks for more shows like this one! And come out for the live TMI on August 26th at McNally Jackson Books (mcnallyjackson.com)
  Tue. 8/13/13 11:31am heythere:

Andrea, I don't know if you remember the first time you heard TAL, but I do. It was like a door in the universe opened. I didn't even realize the door was there blocking something and now that it is open I can see into this huge magnificent room I could never have imagined before. I don't want to flatter too much, but your ex-roomate is such an indescribable tool I'm having trouble rationalizing it and that FELLS SO GOOD.
  Tue. 8/27/13 2:22pm SG in SF:

Dr. Glover, it really is that easy!

-a female
  Tue. 8/27/13 2:57pm SG in SF:

Are there going to be any more Andrea shows after the next 3? I have really enjoyed the dating with Andrea, guest starring Grandma, segments.
  Sat. 3/1/14 4:17pm Ace:

Andrea, you said 95% if the time you do not welcome a guy talking to you. Here is my big question to you: how do you ever get into a relationship?? How do women in general get into relationships if they don't want guys talking to them??

This is why it is so hard for many guys to go through the process of getting into a relationship with a woman. If you women don't want guys talking to you, then how are we supposed to get into a relationship with you?
Avatar    Mon. 3/3/14 4:05pm Ange:

Hi Ace! I prefer to meet someone through friends, work, at a party, or online dating. There is a culture of street harassment that women are subject to everywhere -- approaching me in public without an introduction of some kind might feel like part of that harassment. If I saw you at the grocery store, and thought you were cute, I would probably be the one to say hello first. If you say hello first, you risk making me feel uncomfortable when I'm going about my business.
  Fri. 3/7/14 6:27pm Ace:

Andrea (or is it Ange?), thank you for replying to my question. Okay, I do understand to up to a point of your viewpoint that there are situations in which it can feel like harrassment to you. However, what about a guy that is just being friendly and is just showing humanity toward you... another fellow human being? What is so wrong with that??

Also, you say if you find a guy attractive then you would want to be the one to say hello first ... because if HE says hello first then he would risk making you feel uncomfortable. Okay, but as the old saying goes, "you want to have your cake and eat it too". What I mean is, you feel if a guy thinks you're attractive, and he speaks to you, then it is basically "harrassment". BUT, if YOU find HIM attractive, and you choose to speak to him, then it is not harrassment for you to speak to him? In other words, why is it not harrassment if you choose to speak to the random guy first, but it IS essentially harrassment if the guy chooses to speak to you first?

Andrea, I'm not at all trying to sound as if I'm angry or confrontational, I'm just trying to figure out all this stuff.
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