Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from May 22, 2013 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options May 22, 2013: Reality Check for Children

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Ken & Andy  0:00:00 ()

Listener comments!

Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:02pm G:

Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:03pm Ken From Hyde Park:

I am listening to the show tonight. Have been busy this time Wednesdays for a while.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:03pm G:

get what things off his chest? his supersagger moobs?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:04pm Dan B From Upstate:

Oh god! I'm listening to Kim Komando! Help!
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:04pm common:

can i come?
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:05pm Danne D:

Surprised that Andy hasn't said "Your Pledge Dollars At Work" in reference to Ken's new house
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:05pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Room for more future retiree's???
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:05pm G:

@danne: saving his ammo?
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:06pm cavorting with nudists:

I wish Ken would resurrect the SFX of teenage girls laughing when Andy gets off a zinger. One of my favorite moments ever was when he briefly changed it to teenage girls crying at Andy's zingers and Andy didn't seem to notice any difference.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:06pm trish:

That's my game, too!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:07pm ottovonbqe:

Now is the time to say free palestine.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:07pm Mutant:

What kind of boiler does the new house have? I had to replace the ignition thing on my boiler today.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:07pm dvx:

My kids are sleeping, should I wake them up?
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:08pm john:

yep, my 11-year-old just suggested i switch off too. he has better ears than me - i thought andy was saying "afro wars"
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:09pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Only if there's money in it for the lil ones!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:10pm dvx:

Careful, I'm almost irresponsible enough to do it.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:10pm Danne D:

Ken does a really great sleeping kid impersonation :) He should ad that to his stand-up routine.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:10pm PMD:

@ottovonbqu: lol!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:11pm Danne D:

If only somebody on the show knew something about making movies.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:13pm Robert:

"Will Kemp" is the name of a play the Promethean Theatre Co. created & staged for at least a couple of runs in the 1980s.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:14pm Carmichael:

I'm in California. What the hell is a boiler?!? Is it the big metal thing the dad on A Christmas Story yelled at?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:14pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

well kempt. sounds boring
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:15pm Mutant:

It is used to create heat for your house. It is sort of a an anti-air conditioner.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:15pm Robert:

IIRC, it was the one about a fictional contemporary of Shakespeare who was in the same acting company and...I forgot the rest.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:15pm common:

@Danne D: Hee Hee!!!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:16pm Carmichael:

Thanks Mutant. We use $220 of electricity a month to heat our houses for the 2 week winter.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:18pm Tyler:

Oh hey WILL! You can do it. But you should ust make a couple films and figure it out yourself, DON'T GO TO SCHOOL for it.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:18pm G:

It is a big thing in your basement that boils water. In houses with radiators, it forces hot water up into the radiators to heat rooms. Old guys from Brooklyn call them "earl burnahs" but since the 90s most are gas fueled, and the dumpy old earl truck no longer spills black sludge around the pipe on the side of your old house where they top it off, and leaves a bill in your porch mailbox.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:18pm Caryn:

@Robert: except he wasn't fictional...
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:19pm Carmichael:

School is for losers.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:19pm common:

@Tyler: You're right! Unless you just want to get in debt and hide for a few years.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:19pm Robert:

You saw that play too, Caryn? What don't you know, huh?
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:20pm KevinfromBayRidge:

@Carm, Boilers= A OK substitute for fruits,nuts & less nanny-state.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:20pm Danne D:

I remember talking to a waitress at Hooters - she said she was planning to move to L.A. to star in "independent" films.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:20pm common:

ken...you have my dream job. create an easy job for me and i'll come and work for you.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:20pm G:

Have Madame Tussaud's make a Ken and put it in the lobby or wherever for kids to come look at
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:21pm Caryn:

@Robert: didn't see the play, but spent so much time studying Shakespeare and British drama in university to know the guy (btw: en.wikipedia.org... )
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:21pm Danne D:

I thought a boiler was the source of an infinite number of amusing stories.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:23pm dvx:

Bipolar trombone
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:23pm conrad:

Another Californian here - is a boiler just another name for 'hot water heater' (cuz I have one of those), or is it a different thing entirely?
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:24pm Mutant:

Electricity is a pretty bad heat source
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:24pm Robert:

Wow, so it was based on a real historic figure? (I guess Shakespeare was the fictional one.) Thanks, Caryn. I bet Dan Roentsch, playwright & director, told me at the time, and I forgot...but maybe he didn't.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:24pm dale:

i'm playing the sad trombone at the same time - it's like a symphony of losers
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:25pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

Speaking of farts sounds as being ancient humor. I always thought whenever I heard about the primordial soup bubbling up and making fart noises and that is what humored and motivated life to begin evolving.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:26pm KevinfromBayRidge:

@conrad, Boiler usually generates steam or hot water to heat whole house/apartment.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:26pm common:

farts are always funny. my friend said the other day: "The day I don't laugh at farts is the day my life is over."
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:27pm kevin g:

There aren't more parents listening who hate their children's dreams?
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:28pm KevinfromBayRidge:

Radiator's can make fart sounds sometimes.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:28pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- the current PBS 'American Masters' on Mel Brooks blames *him* for the Moderne Era of Fart Joke sensibility via 'Blazing Saddles'...
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:29pm common:

smells like you boys have had enough!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:29pm KevinfromBayRidge:

See what you're missing on the left coast!
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:30pm Joe:

that thing is my friends BIRDs favorite toy,,, if she is listening she's probably goin' nuts!!!! her name is Kiibbi,,, I dare you to get her to eat the furnature,,, she will listen if you use the sounds. (bomb drop & shotgun are her FAVs !) picture & door are tastyest
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:30pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- in the hospital - they know yer insides er werkin' (again) if ya fart: everybody poops, everybody farts
- but George Carlin was right: only people like him admit it...
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:30pm KevinfromBayRidge:

"Breaking wind on the prairie"
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:31pm Robert:

My classmates Alex Citron and Marc Blank at Horace Mann School made a movie, "Fat Man and Blobbin".
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:32pm Robert:

They made the movie while we were in school.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:32pm dale:

"i've got something for you to smell...." oh no, not that road...
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:32pm kevin g:

Wasn't Fat Man the Toxic Crusader's companion in the fourth Toxic Crusader movie?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:32pm PMD:

Zoe should call in.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:32pm G:

I think boiler is just a really old name, maybe 19th century. In old NYC public school, they call them boilers, too.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:32pm Ken From Hyde Park:

What do you call the Dynamic Duo who were run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:33pm Carmichael:

Spike should call in.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:33pm G:

Old dudes from Brooklyn call them "radd-ee-ate-uhs"
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:33pm Caryn:

The "I've got something for you to smell..." line reminds me of the joke about the most effective pick-up line being "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:34pm Carmichael:

Will Andy use the "pull my finger" line?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:35pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

@PMD Zoe is performing at a school concert right now. Probably would not give a shit about calling in right now anyway.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:36pm Danne D:

Why do they call it a Fire House when it rarely if ever is on fire?
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:36pm Mutant:

Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:36pm Danne D:

Next week on Seven Second Delay with Ken and Donovan.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:37pm common:

bigfoot is real!
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:37pm Robert:

Would "tushie" or "fanny" be more child-friendly?
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:37pm common:

donovan is real! hurdy gurdy man!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:38pm Carmichael:

Have Donovan sing Atlantis over the phone.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:39pm Robert:

I didn't learn the word "fart" until I was a teenager. I don't think I knew of "butt" in that sense until at least then, either.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:40pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

what would bigfoot's farts sound like? I always imagine that in that old footage of the bigfoot walking and looking at the camera that he has a huge fart and with each step he lets out a huge fart, each step, frrrpp!, Frrrrattt!, Faaaarrrpp, Fweeeeep!
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:40pm dale:

'omaha beach blanket bingo' would be wacky
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:41pm KevinfromBayRidge:

My kid's called into 7SD when they were "tweeners" in the 90's. Should they call back to see how that turned out?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:41pm PMD:

Yay!!! where Ken??? When's the happy hour?
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:41pm Robert:

Anyway, Caryn, now I'm going to have to add a reference to the play "Will Kemp" to the Wikipedia entry on William Kempe. Fortunately I can source it to reviews of the play from then.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:41pm Danne D:

"7 Minute Delay" with Ken Freedman
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:41pm Carmichael:

I might see you there, Ken. Look for the FMU shirt and nothing else on.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:42pm Danne D:

@Carmichael you can get a $2 discount if you bring your old Seven Second Delay Premium shirt
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:43pm PMD:

Carmichael - I'll certainly be there. Alas, I have no 7SD shirt
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:43pm Carmichael:

I have plenty of FMU shirts, but no 7SD.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:44pm Danne D:

Hey Ken, is there a link to your comedy gig (or the venue) so we can promote it.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:44pm Robert:

It was Bork, yes.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:44pm Danne D:

That is something I will not be googling.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:44pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- If the Topic be 'Reality Check for Children '
- what about all the stuff that Kids are totally a-okay w/
- but Parents get all AnxietyUptight about - ?!

- LittleKids always respond Naturally to Rock'n'Roll; They *understand* it instinctively...

- 'If *you* don't tell your cat about Catnip - who will - ?!?'

...Butt Butt Fart Fart...

I imagine Bigfoot has a very highfiber diet & is basically a pedestrian (not sedentary)
- altho' who knows what evolutionary quirk makes him so Endangered...
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:44pm Marie:

Bork--probably traumatized over the years with that name.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:44pm Michael:

Not Bork, Thomas.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:45pm Danne D:

Btw "Borked" is a scrabble word.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:46pm cklequ:

Awful lot of porn talk on the children's hour tonight.....
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:46pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

gape porn?
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:46pm Danne D:

Clarence Thomas on the other hand knew from those movies.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:46pm Joe:

Re: rat race. do you guys think that movie would have been really blockbusterly-great if the director and everyone in it could have watched a season or two of monk first???
Maybe we could rally a remake?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:46pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- Is there a word for Commenting but not Listening?
...I'm amassing Qualifications...
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:47pm common:

i work for a gay porn and straight porn site. porn is boring now.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:48pm Danne D:

@RR1163 - I'd say the word is "Cheri-ing"
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:48pm cavorting with nudists:

This is the filthiest 7SD ever--and on a show where they want kids to call! Well played, Ken and Andy!
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:48pm Robert:

No, but "Rat Race" could've been blockbustery if Blockbuster didn't have "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World".
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:48pm Marie:

@revolution: bloviating?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:50pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

- 'filthiest' like when Lenny Bruce did a Show all sugestions but no bad words - ??...
- Marie: ...not sure about that on the CV...altho' I can certainly Qualify!...
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:50pm Caryn:

Gotta say, classic Disney characters are really big in Europe, especially the Nordic countries and Mediterranean countries. Have no idea why.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:51pm dale:

disney world is still huge, but i think it's newer properties like the toy story crap that get everyone excited
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:51pm Joe:

true, Same movie. Maybe they should have NOT watched "mad,mad,,," first .... ....
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:51pm Marie:

The Disney company is fascistic.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:51pm dvx:

Donald Duck comics are a big thing here in Germany. There are entire communities of adult readers.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:51pm dale:

children's television workshop is pretty low budget - i say go for it
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:52pm Danne D:

Based on recent show premises, it appears that Andy's exit strategy involves doing live remotes with a threat of arrest or legal action every other week.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:52pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

One word: Pixar.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:53pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

Wait, how did it go from kids wanting to grow up to be porn stars and directors to this!
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:53pm Danne D:

Andy is missing the distinction b/w buying the costume for fun and buying the costume in order to make money.
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:53pm dale:

first link that came up after googling MM costume:

Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:53pm Danne D:

@GMM - I mean how could it not? :)
  Wed. 5/22/13 6:54pm Michael:

Complete the circle: Disney once sued the producers of (I think it was) "The Happy Hooker" for presenting a scene featuring someone wearing a Mickey Mouse costume (or maybe just the ears) doing some sort of sex to the "Mickey Mouse Club" theme....'Annette!!!!'
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:55pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

  Wed. 5/22/13 6:55pm Robert:

I think both Ken & Andy are missing the distinction between wearing the costume for fun and performing in it.
Avatar Wed. 5/22/13 6:56pm Mutant:

I just read an article about someone being a character in Times Square but now I can't find it
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:58pm Revolution Rabbit Nov63:

Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:58pm Green Mountain Man Mark:

As long as the costumes have a front flap and a back flap for easy open easy access.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 5/22/13 6:59pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Everybody clap!
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