Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from July 11, 2012 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options July 11, 2012: Tonight's Programme: Testing Pickup Lines

Listen to this show: | Add or read comments

Artist Track Approx. start time
Ken and Andy  Seven Second Delay   Options 0:00:00 ()

Listener comments!

  Wed. 7/11/12 6:02pm Philo Gristle:

Hello Hello Hello!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:03pm kat330:

Hi, Ken! Hi, Andy!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:03pm kat330:

Cranking up the audio....
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:06pm kat330:

You should get listeners there to be judges and hold up score signs for each act.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:08pm kat330:

That's if you're settling on calling it the Busker Olympics.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:11pm ange:

1pm or 2pm? I'm hearing one and reading the other :)
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:11pm kat330:

Remember, you only want to eat the face off free range, grain-fed people. So vegans only.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:13pm kat330:

Ah, this explains why the list is empty. The guys have all scattered.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:16pm kat330:

She's real modest. That should make a LOT more guys willing to call in and be shut down.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:17pm Rendak:

Ah, a whole hour of hetero-dullery. Pick-up lines?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:17pm buddy:

pick it up .. pick it up....c'mon guys
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:17pm kat330:

I think a jerk is needed in this instance.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:19pm kat330:

Andy's pickup line "You're my soulmate."
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:20pm buddy:

How bout "first I lie to myself and then to you".
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:21pm Mark T in Central VT:

A nice sybian machine in an apartment instead of a van
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:22pm giraffe-o:

"nursing a baby"... nice one :D
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:22pm Caryn:

I do think men have this crazy notion that you have to have an OTT, "unique" pick-up line, but in reality, most women seem to respond best to a standard introduction or offer of a beverage.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:23pm mossy:

i'm with you Rendak! straight mating rituals, ugh
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:23pm Dan B From Upstate:

The music is killing me!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:23pm buddy:

this is horrible... once again you have done it... hopeless
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:24pm Cliff:

*nosedive*
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:25pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

Painful to listen to
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:25pm Dan B From Upstate:

Guy: Don't be scared of me.

That's a surefire way to seal the deal! You're in, buddy!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:26pm kat330:

"I promise not to eat your face."
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:27pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Andy should act as Cyrano de Bergerac and feed the dude some good lines.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:27pm buddy:

Your scared?... I'm scared. stop, stop, stop.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:27pm Dan B From Upstate:

I have a couple of lines, but it's the stuff that would come after the lines that I couldn't do. Even pretend.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:27pm kat330:

Clearly a player on the line.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:28pm MISTER JOHNNY:

I promise to eat whatever part of you that you desire...
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:28pm other david:

"Hello, I'm from the internet - and I promise not to eat your face, can I interest you in some bath salts?"

*looks at face, licks lips*
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:28pm dc pat:

Ok lay off guys! The "eat yer face" guy was NOT dropping bath salts. Get with it!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:29pm other david:

*eats dc pats face*
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:29pm kat330:

Oh, right, pat. We wouldn't want to unfairly denigrate bath salts! ;)

Yo, OD!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:29pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hello comma how are you?

That sucks!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:30pm buddy:

see ya, this is pathetic. all time worst.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:30pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Man: Hello, how are you?

Woman: FUCK OFF!!!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:30pm Dan B From Upstate:

Do you come here often?

Not anymore...
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:30pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

The creepiness is strong with these guys
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:31pm MISTER JOHNNY:

It's a fine line between creepy and ultra-creepy.

True.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:31pm other david:

hey kat!

"would you like to see my pizzaboat?"
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:31pm Caryn:

Of course he was not dropping bath salts, dc pat! Ken already established that you don't drop bathsalts (unless you're dropping them into a tub in preparation for a nice bath), you DO them.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:32pm kat330:

If you guys tuned in late, she answered "Duh!" when Ken asked if guys come over to talk to her in bars. I think only a jerk might get through in this case.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:32pm Mark T in Central VT:

Would the guy be wearing the SSD where's my two dollars shirt?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:33pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Wait, when does the guy slip a roofie in her drink?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:33pm kat330:

How's it coming along, David? [trying to think of something funny about pat's face and pizza and...it's not coming.]
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:33pm Dan B From Upstate:

I think I need to try the jerk approach. Nice guy hasn't paid off for me in the past. How do jerks pick up gals?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:34pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Chicks LOVE ham radio!

Have that tattooed to Andy's face!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:35pm kat330:

@Dan: "If I said you have a great body, would you hold it against me?"
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:35pm catbrain:

why is it guys talk too much. ask more questions dummies. me me me
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:36pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Andy is the Prime Minister of Ted Bundy Country.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:36pm Dan B From Upstate:

kat, do girls really go for that? The awful line I was going to call in with was, "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi. I'm Dan."
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:38pm Hunter:

In my years selling ham and shortwave radios, we only ever had ONE female customer...no lie
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:38pm other david:

@kat: the technical hurdles appear too great - it just keeps getting eaten.

one suspects a new approach is needed
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:38pm kat330:

@Dan: I wouldn't have a clue. I've somehow managed to escape the "single in a venue looking for another single" game. "Heart and humor and humility" are pretty much all needed to get a woman of that same sort. I have no idea what cocky singles say to interest each other.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:39pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rusty is creeping me out, man...
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:39pm catbrain:

this guy is going to get killed or thrown in jail.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:39pm Caryn:

Sheesh, where's the mace when you need it?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:39pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

Rusty is now in jail
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:40pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Ask Rusty how he gets along with his parole officer.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:40pm Dan B From Upstate:

What if he feels her material?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:41pm MISTER JOHNNY:

That's the creepy part?

It's ALL creepy, Andy!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:41pm Hunter:

Rusty...what's his last name...trombone?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:41pm Dan B From Upstate:

Is there a mirror on the bar?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:42pm catbrain:

ken and andy are creeping me out. what are you doing?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:42pm kat330:

His voice is creeping me out.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:42pm other david:

oh god..
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:42pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rusty's image does not show in a mirror!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:43pm Caryn:

@Dan B: this would be the scene in a horror series where the woman being massaged looks into the mirror over the bar and sees no-one, thus establishing the masseuse as either a ghost or a vampire.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:43pm Cliff:

3 out of 10? That's better than my response rate on OkCupid...
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:43pm hamburger:

prediction: rusty has a half eaten face
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:43pm Caryn:

Rusty left to hose down the woman in the pit in his basement before telling her to "rub the lotion on its skin".
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:44pm Philo Gristle:

"Put the lotion in the basket."
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:44pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rusty's Sneak-Massage Method has now been copyrighted.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:45pm Philo Gristle:

"I drink your milkshake!"
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:45pm kat330:

Working women would probably appreciate a foot massage more than a shoulder massage.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:47pm MISTER JOHNNY:

It's amazing that Rusty can give a massage with his metal claws.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:47pm Dan B From Upstate:

@Caryn, have you heard the Paul F Tompkins bit, "The Sink And The Mirror"? Very funny.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:48pm Caryn:

Quick, Ken, tell her to pledge to get the WFMU flexidisc! Never miss out on an opportunity to get money!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:48pm other david:

"The Rusty" will surely be a listener premium next year
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:48pm Caryn:

@Dan B: no, but now I'll probably have to look it up.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:49pm hamburger:

@OD or a punishment from the wheel of fate
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:49pm MISTER JOHNNY:

His rusty metal claws will excite every woman's deepest desires...
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:50pm Dan B From Upstate:

Found it on youtube, Caryn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72XBnJFJeDM
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:50pm Caryn:

This show reminds me of the old Graham Norton episode where they had Sharon Stone and some other female star sitting at a bar and judging men's pick-up lines.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:50pm kat330:

A punishment might be listening to this episode of 7SD in a 7-hour loop.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:50pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, have you seen my buddy, Rusty?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:51pm Caryn:

Thanks, Dan! Will go check it out when the show ends.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:51pm other david:

hamburger: yes!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:51pm kat330:

Oooh, that's creepy, Ken!!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:51pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, can you help me with my fly - it seems to be stuck.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:52pm Jeff:

Oh, no - time for a boiler story!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:52pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, what kind of boiler do you prefer?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:52pm Dan B From Upstate:

Does this count as a boiler story for insurance purposes?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:52pm Caryn:

"Vanhempasi taitavat olla ostereita, olet sinä sellainen helmi." Ugh...
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:53pm kat330:

Lyme Disease?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:53pm Caryn:

Would you like a bunny boiler?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:53pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, do you prefer a Swedish or Shiatsu massage from Rusty?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:54pm kat330:

Pearls before swine, Caryn. :) Pastis this past Sunday did a riff on my tag of Beware of geeks bearing .gifs, btw.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:54pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

They could really make some good sponsorship money from a boiler company
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:54pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, have we met before in a past life? Did I murder you then?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:55pm kat330:

He should respond "Jolene, please don't take my man away." That should pique her interest.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:55pm Jeff:

The Finnish oyster pick-up is so 2011.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:55pm Caryn:

@Mister Johnny: I think the most physical contact I'd prefer from Rusty would be a tentative poke with a ten-foot pole, because he's not getting any closer than that.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:55pm MISTER JOHNNY:

ARE YOU INTO DATE RAPE?!?!

PERFECT!!!!!!!!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:56pm other david:

New show name: 60 Minutes of Uncomfortable Squirming
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:56pm kat330:

Save that for the Catskills, Andy!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:57pm Jeff:

I'm still shivering involuntarily from hearing Rusty.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:57pm MISTER JOHNNY:

ARE YOU INTO GANG RAPE?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:57pm Cliff:

If not, how about a foot massage?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:57pm Caryn:

"Hi, I just got out of prison. Would you like to re-enact some scenes from Oz with me?"
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:58pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Massage by Surprise is a death penalty offense in Sweden.
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:58pm kat330:

'Night, non-players! Sleep sweetly!
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:58pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

How's your Aspen?
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:58pm Caryn:

Just go up to the club DJ and say "Play 'Misty' for me!"
  Wed. 7/11/12 6:59pm Philo Gristle:

G'bye! G'bye! G'bye!
  Thu. 7/12/12 4:49am Remote Caper:

Can someone please steal the money out of Andy's guitar case
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