Options Shut Up, Weirdo with Frangry and Michele: Playlist from May 7, 2010 Options

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The promise of joy, the magic of blather. A call-in show for the New Age of Inquiry. The Man can't bust our chit-chat. (Visit homepage.)

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Options May 7, 2010: Killer Instinct

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Artist Track
Andy & Frangry  Shut Up, Weirdo   Options

Listener comments!

  Fri. 5/7/10 6:00pm Danne D:

Hi Weirdos :)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:01pm Cecile:

Hey, guys! Did I win last week? If so, what did I win?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:01pm Frangry:

Cecile, send me your address! Hi Weirdos!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:01pm Dan F:

hey, what IS that intro music yo?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:03pm hamburger:

this show is johnny muller baiting!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:03pm Cecile:

I will! But what did I win?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:04pm Cecile:

Just sent it.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:04pm Danne D:

Fear, not Cecile - I assure you that the prize Frangry sends your way will be all you have ever hoped for and more :)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:05pm Frangry:

Glorious amazing prizes
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:06pm Cecile:

vodka?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:07pm Danne D:

A tea Party protestor parked in our lot at work (ignoring the posted sign that said it was private proprerty no parking). My co-workers are nicer than me - I would've had them towed.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:07pm alex:

whats the number again?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:08pm FBI:

Frangry, please have your callers speak more clearly and slowly - thaknks!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:09pm Danne D:

(that was really me btw - I'm bad at the whole alias thing!)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:10pm Danne D:

Might be better radio to keep the enemies vague and the methodology more specific.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:11pm Danne D:

I think Stern usually has twins on...
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:13pm Johnny Muller:

Bill O'Reilly
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:13pm Danne D:

Hmmm, theCatholic Church seems to have lowered their standards...
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:14pm g:

Dick Cheney. I would put him in a soccer stadium full of American and Iraqi widows and mothers of dead children of the his illegal war.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:14pm Danne D:

Ah, Lutheran, that explains that

;o)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:15pm Dan F:

What kind of seminary is this--connected to the Church of Satan?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:16pm TubaRuba:

I love ya, Muller, but I'm anxiously awaiting Svetlana's call on this topic.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:16pm g:

It's not hard! Advertise!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:16pm g:

The BP CEO. Use his mouth as a plug.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:17pm Danne D:

I agree, TubaRuba, I bet Svetlana would have some serious James Bond shit as part of her call.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:18pm hamburger:

if I could kill someone, I'd kill JASON BOURNE, and I'd have him killed by making him take an 'emergency call' from a mobile phone which sprays when you answer it, and then he'd go 'awww dam, I got ink on my tank top' and then standing nearby, I'll have a spare tank top and say. well, mr bourne, would you like to change into this one? and he'd go, gee thanks! and when he puts it on, I'll say, sorry buddy! THIS tank top has hippopotamus phremones, and low and behold, a herd of hippos would have his way with him, until his ultimate demise
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:18pm Danne D:

As a prize, that divorced guy should get to bring Frangry over to meet the ex-wife so as to make her jealous :)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:18pm Paul:

You could kill Frangry by letting Andy choose every topic for a year.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:21pm Danne D:

I'd make sure Johnny gets his marathon swag in a timely fashion. Just sayin'
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:23pm Danne D:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier

Awful story :(
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:24pm g:

The Mississippian bastards who banned their lesbian classmate from the prom (by first canceling it and then hiding it. They should have to be dragged behind a pickup until ...
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:25pm Danne D:

she was acquitted btw

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Lori_Drew
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:26pm johnny muller:

I would kill that asshole that attempted to get under Frangry's skin.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:27pm Johnny Muller:

Missouri, she never was formally charged because she technically didn't break any rules.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:27pm Danne D:

That sounds like the plot from one of Bill O's soft porn novels...
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:27pm g:

How would you kill him, johnny muller?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:28pm Paul:

Wasn't she at least sued? Seems like you could sue her for something under tort law, even if nothing criminal would stick.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:29pm Johnny Muller:

I would suffocate him with a plastic bag, then revive him when he loses consciousness and repeat the process until he died.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:30pm Johnny Muller:

Asphyxiation to me is the worst way to die.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:30pm B::

Kill Cheney? Kill tea partiers? Kill Bill O'Reilly? Hmmm . . .Lot of respectful leniency here from the folks who preach tolerance. Nobody wants to off any terrorists instead?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:30pm Robert:

Is there a rule against drinking liquor on the air, or being truthfully said on the air to be drinking?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:30pm g:

It would possible you could collapse from exhaustion before he was dead (could be your out...)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:30pm Tom:

I am not sure who I would kill, but I would kill them by tying their ankles to a bunch of weather balloons. I am not quite sure how this would work but I am pretty sure that at least something bad would happen
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:30pm Elwyn:

It was so good just to hear Frangry get queasy as Johnny got into details.

As I said on facebook, can't restrict to just ONE. I want to be a vigilante serial killer of professional athletes who rape but get acquitted. In Australia, rugby players get charged but never ever convicted.
My murder technique would be to capture them two at a time, hog tie them naked, use a broom to make them into a spit roast with each broom inserted deeply into an oraface, then slow cook them over a fire.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:31pm g:

B is boring.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:31pm Danne D:

Creepiest potential topic: flirt with Frangry's mom.

Have fun with your mom, Frangry :) Hope you have a good mother's day together!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:31pm B::

Kill Cheney? Kill tea partiers? Kill Bill O'Reilly? Kill Glen Beck? Hmmm . . .Lot of respectful leniency here from the folks who preach tolerance. Nobody wants to off any terrorists instead? Let's have a show of hands.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:33pm Orlando:

I would murder Rachel Ray because she's annoying and she looks like one of those people who sniffs their fingers.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:34pm g:

What did she say???
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:34pm Danne D:

Isn't B what the girl that faked the attack on herself carve into her cheek?

Anyhow, I agree that I'm surprised Osama hasn't come on anybody's hit list.
Not really down with the topic - kinda creepin' me out.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:34pm Paul:

Sure, kill the terrorists, then kill the politicians who take advantage of our fear of terrorists. Here's how I would kill terrorists: send in highly trained black ops troops to target them, rather than invading whole countries and killing loads of civilians along with a few terrorists.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:34pm Johnny Muller:

The thing about prostitutes is that they are low risk but high easily accessible and for the most part, nobody cares.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:35pm TubaRuba:

Oh God please let whoever wants to kill Tommy be our next regular caller!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:37pm Amateurs:

I'll raise you Bill O, GB, and add Sean hannity and el Rushbo and do them all quickly with real American hardware: fletchette weapons composed of hi-explosive tungston alloy Dense Inert Metal Explosives that burst into micro-shrapnel and fillet them quite brutally. Those that survive can die slowly of the carcinogenic effects of the munition.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:37pm Danne D:

Is this like the same guy calling one at a time here? Do we need to call all c-span and have the "people who want to kill republican dial line 1, people who want to kill democrats dial line 2, people who want to kill independents dial line 3)

Not down with the whole targeting politicians thing - of whatever stripe.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:38pm g:

Johnny, first: prostitutes are people too, second: some are mothers. Sunday is Mothers Day. So I say to you, for just this weekend, be nice to a prostitute.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:38pm Danne D:

The only thing this gentleman can slay is the ladies with that accent.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:39pm Johnny Muller:

Best torture techniques: asphyxiation, cutting, burning, testicle squeezing, starvation and drowning in a septic tank.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:39pm g:

I'm down with Amateurs!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:39pm Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz:

Wow, a bunch of sissy do-nothing FMU listeners fantasizing about killing people whose politics they don't like? What a revelation!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:39pm TubaRuba:

RayJay and Spike are two different people? Which one likes soap operas and which one is the raging drug addict?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:40pm Andrew:

This would be a lot funnier if the show was geared toward a necrophiliac audience, and your motivation for killing a person was to have sex with his or her dead body and not necessarily because you hated that person.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:40pm Orlando:

Save money! Pip Pip Cherrio
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:40pm Johnny Muller:

Don't worry g, I am in the process of "trolling." Strangling them with a garrote is the next step
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:40pm g:

The thought of getting my testicles squeezed in a septic tank is revolting and somehow stimulating.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:42pm g:

I would kill the next NJ moron who doesn't slow down while I'm crossing the street by changing places with them at the last second before the car mows me down.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:43pm Johnny Muller:

I have an interminable amount of commercial ideas. A woman is walking down the street, she is grabbed up and the screen turns black. The next scene she is being washed in a bathtub, her face is blue, due to strangulation, and the killer is applying lipstick to her dead body. There is no such thing as bad publicity.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:44pm Johnny Muller:

"Maybe it's Maybelline, maybe it's the necrophiliac tendencies of a budding serial killer.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:44pm Paul:

Tell us how it's done, Zzzzz. Who would you kill, since you're not a sissy? And obviously I'm KIDDING about killing the politicians. I wouldn't stoop to their level. Again, for any HSA operatives reading this thread read now: I AM ONLY KIDDING. Politicians are like, special people and are only looking out for our best interests and stuff.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:45pm Frangry:

johnny Muller: Please reign in the crazy. You're scaring me.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:45pm g:

What color is the lipstick? Does it matter?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:45pm Johnny Muller:

I'm sorry. You know I'd never hurt you.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:46pm Orlando:

I like the idea of sticking someone's head in a box full of hungry rats.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:46pm Johnny Muller:

Dark, but not black, red, like a deep burgundy.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:47pm TubaRuba:

Andy's assignment is to read up on this - http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/obscene.html Every week he freaks out and comes up with some new amendment to the real rules.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:47pm Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz:

I just happen not to like 1. long-dead cliche ideas parading as interesting and 2. hot air, and the people I mentioned are full of both. Have a nice day!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:47pm Johnny Muller:

George Bush, I'd shove a soft pretzel down his throat.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:48pm Orlando:

This caller is KILLING me!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:48pm g:

Eggnoggin'?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:48pm Johnny Muller:

Bill O"Reilly, I'd jam the New York Times down his throat.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:50pm Johnny Muller:

Necrophilia! Don't get me excited!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:51pm Orlando:

I would kill fat people by offering them free ice cream then making them chase my ice cream truck to get it.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:51pm Guido:

I'm gonna kill you with my Italian Horn! punk!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:51pm Paul:

How about this: People who call you and say "did you call my number? did you call my number?" and when you rell them no, they don't believe you, and want to grill you about it like you slapped their mom or something.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:52pm Androo:

It's a long shore, man.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:52pm Johnny Muller:

My neighbor is super nosy, I wold cut off her ears, nose and lips like they do to people in Uganda.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:52pm John McCabe in LA:

axe body spray is the most flammable thing on the market the LAFD is trying to out law it
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:52pm Danne D:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLqPeMku4vg

Rap Chop
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:53pm Johnny Muller:

"Slap Chop; you're gonna love my nuts!"
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:54pm seang:

Pale Fire Rules! SO Funny, Charles Kinbote!!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:54pm Danne D:

Mugshot:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/shlomimugshot1.html
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:55pm Androo:

I would kill my father to fulfill my destiny as the modern day Oedipus.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:55pm Johnny Muller:

I would kidnap pancake, and slowly rip off his buttons! Then I would strangle him his bowtie.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:55pm Orlando:

Will listening to this episode kill your Karma?
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:56pm John McCabe in LA:

@Johnny Muller don't do it
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:57pm Danne D:

Is this Abe Vigoda calling about Betty White?

Anyway, good evening, weirdos? :)
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:57pm hamburger:

voooodoo magic to bring to life KFC's Colonel Sanders and have him see all the obese children he's made, and guilt trip him into sewer-cide
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:58pm Johnny Muller:

Ow, I would sow buttons onto him; free of painkillers so he feels the pain. Just kidding!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:59pm Paul:

Later D. Why didn't the pickled brother guy call in? It sounds like his topic. Later everybody else.
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:59pm Johnny Muller:

Don't worry John MCcabe, I would never do it. I'm psyched about our shirts!
  Fri. 5/7/10 6:59pm John McCabe in LA:

Andy everybody knows who pancake is already
  Fri. 5/7/10 7:00pm Johnny Muller:

"I'm Catholic, i don't believe in murder" BULLSHIT!
  Fri. 5/7/10 7:01pm John McCabe in LA:

Frangry kills me every Friday at 6:59 when i never winn
  Fri. 5/7/10 7:01pm TubaRuba:

Have a weird weekend, folks!
  Fri. 5/7/10 7:01pm Johnny Muller:

I'm sorry for the animosity towards Pancake, I love Pancake.
  Fri. 5/7/10 7:23pm norman:

the show is over, but i would kill at least one billionaire, especially if he got bailout dollars. i would kill him (and i feel comfortable using "him" and not "him or her") by making him eat a billion dollar bills in eight hours or less. he would be fed these dollar bills by men, women, and children whose homelessness is due to debts incurred from health-related reasons. i.e., the feeders were rendered bankrupt due to medical bills (their own or a family member's or friend's medical bills).

ideally, i would kill every billionaire, starting with the jerk whose income last year was greater than that of all 80,000 NYC school teachers combined. every one of these billionaire cretins would be condemned to die by this means, after which money would be made illegal.

of course, that is a separate matter, since making money illegal will cause people to start living instead of causing their sickness, madness, alienation, and death, which is what money does. capitalism is the number one cause of cancer. billionaires are guilty of premeditated murder, and so my will to kill them is just and a moral obligation that we have all ignored for way too long.

peace!

yours, norman douglas.
  Sat. 5/8/10 12:02pm Jil:

Yikes! The person and death remains the same, however I sincerely apologize for my scariness. Really Bergen Community College's Dr David Kievett was the best person I ever knew. When he told me about the will, I was angry (I never knew how much money he head, I was just totally drawn to him the second he walked into the classroom). Yet the day I told him I wanted to be a pastor, he hugged me for a long time and cried. We were student, teacher, spouses, pals, father and daughter, caregiver, etc... to each other everyday for two and a half years.
His mother and his boyfriend treated me like crap; because they could not help him like could... I didn't realize it was a contest. As a 33 year old, those two taught me ALL I known about jealousy. When the boyfriend died a few months after David, I served as Eucharistic Minister at his funeral (even though I was happy the lummox was dead).
For mom? Rot, skank!
  Sat. 5/8/10 2:21pm Pat:

Fucking nauseating show - beating ex-wives to death, torturing women - is this amusing to anybody? a mile off your usual funny, irreverent humour. You obviously have no contact with anybody who has had to suffer any kind of violence in their lives. How about some empathy for people who don't live in your smug elitist ghetto ?
  Sun. 8/7/11 10:59am zl:

The MySpace story Johnny Muller was refering to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Lori_Drew
  Tue. 10/4/11 6:01am lz:

The movie Andy is referencing is Logorama, just FYI.
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