Compiled by Irwin Chusid
Artwork ©1996 by Ben Jackson. All Rights Reserved.
Holidays are more than a way to honor our national heritage. They're also good excuses for boorish behavior, gluttony, and idiotic civic spectacles [like parades] geared for mental defectives.
But it doesn't stop there. A marketing consulting firm in Natick, MA, Selling Smarter Radio™, distributed the following list of "Saleable Holidays" to commercial broadcast outlets as suggested tie-ins to lure sponsors. In case you need a convenient excuse to celebrate, consider: